{"id":10987,"date":"2025-04-28T22:35:36","date_gmt":"2025-04-28T21:35:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/?page_id=10987"},"modified":"2026-02-22T13:27:33","modified_gmt":"2026-02-22T13:27:33","slug":"pda-and-friendships","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/what-helps-guides\/pda-and-friendships\/","title":{"rendered":"PDA and friendships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#FFFFFF&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;80px||80px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_heading title=&#8221;PDA and friendships&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; title_font=&#8221;&#8211;et_global_heading_font||||||||&#8221; title_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; title_text_align_tablet=&#8221;center&#8221; title_text_align_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; title_text_align_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_heading][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;gcid-9868c831-dc08-4be7-96b8-e0cb537cb9dc&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{%22gcid-9868c831-dc08-4be7-96b8-e0cb537cb9dc%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Friendships can be both rewarding and challenging for everyone, including PDAers.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>While PDAers often seek meaningful connections with other people, a need for independence, struggles with social expectations, and anxiety-driven demand avoidance can sometimes make friendships tricky to maintain, but this doesn\u2019t make it impossible.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>This page has information ways of developing and supporting friendships which may be helpful.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;gcid-d4d84b5e-d061-48e7-894c-a52b4e3d47de&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{%22gcid-d4d84b5e-d061-48e7-894c-a52b4e3d47de%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;||24px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_heading title=&#8221;PDAers\u2019 unique friendship style&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; title_level=&#8221;h2&#8243; title_text_align=&#8221;left&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; title_text_align_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; title_text_align_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; title_text_align_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_heading][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>PDAers can have intense approaches to friendships. Many prefer to have close bonds with just a few people rather than having large circles of friends. Group dynamics or trying to keep up with lots of different friends can be difficult but a deep connection with a single \u2018best\u2019 friend is commonly seen.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Friendships with PDAers might have qualities like these:<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Intense loyalty:<\/strong> PDAers are often highly devoted to their friends and will go to great lengths to support and defend them.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Empathy: <\/strong>people who are very aware of their own needs can also be very supportive and understanding of those of their friends, especially in tough times.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Selective socialising:<\/strong> PDAers might not be interested in casual socialising, preferring deep conversations and shared interests over small talk.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Needing space:<\/strong> socialising can be exhausting and require recovery time afterwards.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Different social cues:<\/strong> PDAers might communicate in ways that seem unusual or inconsistent, leading to misunderstandings if friends are unfamiliar with their style.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;gcid-9868c831-dc08-4be7-96b8-e0cb537cb9dc&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{%22gcid-9868c831-dc08-4be7-96b8-e0cb537cb9dc%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;||24px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_heading title=&#8221;Challenges PDAers may face in friendships&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; title_level=&#8221;h2&#8243; title_text_align=&#8221;left&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; title_text_align_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; title_text_align_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; title_text_align_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_heading][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Avoiding plans:<\/strong> even when they really want to meet up, the pressure of a planned event can feel overwhelming, leading to frequent cancellations.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Difficulty maintaining friendships over time:<\/strong> PDAers may struggle with the consistency that friendships require, sometimes pulling away without clear explanations.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Struggles with authority:<\/strong> even well-meaning advice from a friend can feel like a demand, triggering avoidance or defiance.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Intense emotions:<\/strong> PDAers may experience rapid mood swings, making it difficult for friends to predict their reactions.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Masking and burnout:<\/strong> PDAers often mask their difficulties in social settings, which can lead to exhaustion and withdrawal.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; text_font=&#8221;Caveat||||||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;gcid-body-color&#8221; text_font_size=&#8221;36px&#8221; text_line_height=&#8221;36px&#8221; background_color=&#8221;gcid-6923f909-25e5-4c77-be27-cbebb4bb1b7c&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px||24px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;40px|40px|40px|40px|false|false&#8221; border_radii=&#8221;on|24px|24px|24px|24px&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{%22gcid-body-color%22:%91%22text_text_color%22%93,%22gcid-6923f909-25e5-4c77-be27-cbebb4bb1b7c%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div>\u201cI\u2019ve got friendships where I can be myself, and others where I mask, which can make them harder to maintain. I tend to focus on the ones I find easier.\u201d<\/div>\n<div>Jack*<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Approaches for PDAers around making friends<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Honesty:<\/strong> try letting friends know that socialising can be overwhelming at times and that you might need a break.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Choosing understanding friends:<\/strong> friends who are open-minded and flexible can become the best companions for a PDAer.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Trying low-demand ways to keep in touch:<\/strong> messaging, voice notes, online gaming or watching shows together online can be less overwhelming than in-person meetups.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Setting boundaries and respecting theirs:<\/strong> relationships work best when everyone feels comfortable expressing their needs.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Reconnecting when ready:<\/strong> try not to be afraid to reach out again if there\u2019s been a break in communication. A good friend will understand.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;gcid-d4d84b5e-d061-48e7-894c-a52b4e3d47de&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{%22gcid-d4d84b5e-d061-48e7-894c-a52b4e3d47de%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;||24px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_heading title=&#8221;Supporting a PDA friend&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; title_level=&#8221;h2&#8243; title_text_align=&#8221;left&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; title_text_align_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; title_text_align_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; title_text_align_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_heading][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>If you have a PDA friend, the best thing you can do is provide understanding and patience. Some important ways to support them include:<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Avoid applying pressure:<\/strong> try making invitations open-ended and without expectations.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t take things personally:<\/strong> if a PDAer backs out of plans, it\u2019s probably because they can\u2019t manage it, not that they don\u2019t want to come.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Share interests:<\/strong> many PDAers thrive in friendships based on shared passions. Try building connections and plans around things you both enjoy.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Being flexible:<\/strong> understanding that they might seem inconsistent and can cancel at the last minute. This doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t care.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Understanding demand sensitivity:<\/strong> even casual suggestions might feel like demands, so phrasing things in a way that allows them to feel in control can make all the difference.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Friendships can be both rewarding and challenging for everyone, including PDAers.While PDAers often seek meaningful connections with other people, a need for independence, struggles with social expectations, and anxiety-driven demand avoidance can sometimes make friendships tricky to maintain, but this doesn\u2019t make it impossible.This page has information ways of developing and supporting friendships which may be helpful.PDAers can have intense approaches to friendships. Many prefer to have close bonds with just a few people rather than having large circles of friends. Group dynamics or trying to keep up with lots of different friends can be difficult but a deep connection with a single \u2018best\u2019 friend is commonly seen.Friendships with PDAers might have qualities like these: Intense loyalty: PDAers are often highly devoted to their friends and will go to great lengths to support and defend them. Empathy: people who are very aware of their own needs can also be very supportive and understanding of those of their friends, especially in tough times. Selective socialising: PDAers might not be interested in casual socialising, preferring deep conversations and shared interests over small talk. Needing space: socialising can be exhausting and require recovery time afterwards. Different social cues: PDAers might communicate in ways [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"parent":8181,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"course_tag":[334,325],"class_list":["post-10987","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","course_tag-friendships","course_tag-pda-adults"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/10987","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10987"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/10987\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/8181"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10987"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"course_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/course_tag?post=10987"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}