{"id":14858,"date":"2025-06-15T11:15:33","date_gmt":"2025-06-15T10:15:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/?page_id=14858"},"modified":"2026-02-04T20:35:23","modified_gmt":"2026-02-04T20:35:23","slug":"understanding-equalising","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/what-helps-guides\/pda-approaches\/understanding-equalising\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding equalising"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; module_id=&#8221;understanding-equalising-levelling-in-pda&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;gcid-d4d84b5e-d061-48e7-894c-a52b4e3d47de&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{%22gcid-d4d84b5e-d061-48e7-894c-a52b4e3d47de%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}&#8221;][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;2_3,1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;||24px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;2_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_heading title=&#8221;Understanding equalising (levelling) in PDA&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; title_text_align=&#8221;left&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; title_text_align_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; title_text_align_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; title_text_align_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;][\/et_pb_heading][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<p>Equalising, also known as levelling, describes behaviours used by PDAers when they sense unfairness or imbalance in relationships or interactions. These behaviours are driven by the strong need to regain a sense of autonomy, control, and fairness.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<p>PDAers may experience intense anxiety when they feel controlled or dominated. Equalising behaviours are their way of reducing this anxiety by &#8216;levelling the playing field&#8217; and restoring emotional balance.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/5.png&#8221; title_text=&#8221;5&#8243; align=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;80%&#8221; border_radii=&#8221;on|24px|24px|24px|24px&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<p>What equalising (levelling) can look like:<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;RGBA(255,255,255,0)&#8221; height=&#8221;100%&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_css_free_form=&#8221;selector ul li strong {|| font-weight: 900;||}||selector ul li {|| font-weight: 400 !important;|| position: relative;|| padding-left: 37px;|| margin-bottom: 15px;||}||||selector ul {|| list-style-type: none;|| padding: 0 !important;||}||selector ul li::before{|| content: %22%22;|| position: absolute;|| width: 24px;|| height: 24px;|| background-image: url(%22data:image\/svg+xml;base64,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%22);|| background-size: contain;|| background-repeat: no-repeat;|| top: 4px;|| left: 0;||}||&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<ul>\n<li>Taking control. For example: A PDA child might want to make all decisions, even small ones, to regain control.<\/li>\n<li><span><\/span>Resisting authority or hierarchies on principle. For example: An adult PDAer might consistently challenge or refuse requests from someone they feel is overly authoritative or unfair.<\/li>\n<li><span><\/span>A strong sense of justice. For example: A PDA child might react strongly if they perceive unfair treatment compared to siblings, perhaps demanding exactly equal attention or privileges.<\/li>\n<li><span><\/span>Avoiding or delaying tasks. For example: A PDAer might deliberately delay or avoid tasks if they feel forced or pressured, as a way to restore a feeling of autonomy.<\/li>\n<li><span><\/span>Contradicting or correcting. For example: A PDAer may frequently correct or contradict others, especially authority figures, to feel equal or regain control in conversations.<\/li>\n<ul><\/ul>\n<\/ul>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;32px|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;0px||16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<p>Here are some ideas that might be helpful when thinking about supporting someone who is equalising. You might consider:<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;RGBA(255,255,255,0)&#8221; height=&#8221;100%&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_css_free_form=&#8221;selector ul li strong {|| font-weight: 900;||}||selector ul li {|| font-weight: 400 !important;|| position: relative;|| padding-left: 37px;|| margin-bottom: 15px;||}||||selector ul {|| list-style-type: none;|| padding: 0 !important;||}||selector ul li::before{|| content: %22%22;|| position: absolute;|| width: 24px;|| height: 24px;|| background-image: url(%22data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMjAiIGhlaWdodD0iMjAiIHZpZXdCb3g9IjAgMCAyMCAyMCIgZmlsbD0ibm9uZSIgeG1sbnM9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzIwMDAvc3ZnIj4KPHBhdGggZD0iTTguNiAxNC42TDE1LjY1IDcuNTVMMTQuMjUgNi4xNUw4LjYgMTEuOEw1Ljc1IDguOTVMNC4zNSAxMC4zNUw4LjYgMTQuNlpNMTAgMjBDOC42MTY2NyAyMCA3LjMxNjY3IDE5LjczNzUgNi4xIDE5LjIxMjVDNC44ODMzMyAxOC42ODc1IDMuODI1IDE3Ljk3NSAyLjkyNSAxNy4wNzVDMi4wMjUgMTYuMTc1IDEuMzEyNSAxNS4xMTY3IDAuNzg3NSAxMy45QzAuMjYyNSAxMi42ODMzIDAgMTEuMzgzMyAwIDEwQzAgOC42MTY2NyAwLjI2MjUgNy4zMTY2NyAwLjc4NzUgNi4xQzEuMzEyNSA0Ljg4MzMzIDIuMDI1IDMuODI1IDIuOTI1IDIuOTI1QzMuODI1IDIuMDI1IDQuODgzMzMgMS4zMTI1IDYuMSAwLjc4NzVDNy4zMTY2NyAwLjI2MjUgOC42MTY2NyAwIDEwIDBDMTEuMzgzMyAwIDEyLjY4MzMgMC4yNjI1IDEzLjkgMC43ODc1QzE1LjExNjcgMS4zMTI1IDE2LjE3NSAyLjAyNSAxNy4wNzUgMi45MjVDMTcuOTc1IDMuODI1IDE4LjY4NzUgNC44ODMzMyAxOS4yMTI1IDYuMUMxOS43Mzc1IDcuMzE2NjcgMjAgOC42MTY2NyAyMCAxMEMyMCAxMS4zODMzIDE5LjczNzUgMTIuNjgzMyAxOS4yMTI1IDEzLjlDMTguNjg3NSAxNS4xMTY3IDE3Ljk3NSAxNi4xNzUgMTcuMDc1IDE3LjA3NUMxNi4xNzUgMTcuOTc1IDE1LjExNjcgMTguNjg3NSAxMy45IDE5LjIxMjVDMTIuNjgzMyAxOS43Mzc1IDExLjM4MzMgMjAgMTAgMjBaIiBmaWxsPSIjMUMxQjFGIi8+Cjwvc3ZnPgo=%22);|| background-size: contain;|| background-repeat: no-repeat;|| top: 4px;|| left: 0;||}||&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<ul>\n<li>Validating feelings: it can be helpful recognise and affirm a PDAer&#8217;s feelings of unfairness or anxiety, even if the situation seems minor to you.<\/li>\n<li><span><\/span>Being willing to negotiate and adapt requests. Rigidity can increase anxiety and trigger equalising behaviours.<\/li>\n<li><span><\/span>Being transparent about expectations and reasons behind decisions. This can help PDAers feel respected and understood.<span><\/span><\/li>\n<ul><\/ul>\n<\/ul>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Equalising, also known as levelling, describes behaviours used by PDAers when they sense unfairness or imbalance in relationships or interactions. These behaviours are driven by the strong need to regain a sense of autonomy, control, and fairness.PDAers may experience intense anxiety when they feel controlled or dominated. Equalising behaviours are their way of reducing this anxiety by &#8216;levelling the playing field&#8217; and restoring emotional balance.What equalising (levelling) can look like: Taking control. For example: A PDA child might want to make all decisions, even small ones, to regain control. Resisting authority or hierarchies on principle. For example: An adult PDAer might consistently challenge or refuse requests from someone they feel is overly authoritative or unfair. A strong sense of justice. For example: A PDA child might react strongly if they perceive unfair treatment compared to siblings, perhaps demanding exactly equal attention or privileges. Avoiding or delaying tasks. For example: A PDAer might deliberately delay or avoid tasks if they feel forced or pressured, as a way to restore a feeling of autonomy. Contradicting or correcting. For example: A PDAer may frequently correct or contradict others, especially authority figures, to feel equal or regain control in conversations. Here are some ideas [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"parent":10903,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<!-- wp:divi\/placeholder \/-->","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"course_tag":[318,317],"class_list":["post-14858","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","course_tag-pda-behaviour","course_tag-pda-strategies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/14858","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14858"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/14858\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/10903"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14858"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"course_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdasociety.org.uk\/pda2025staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/course_tag?post=14858"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}