When someone close to us dies, it can affect every part of life. For young PDAers, experiences of grief and loss can feel especially complex and challenging.<\/p>\n
This page suggests practical ways to support a PDA child or young person through death and bereavement.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Caveat||||||||” text_font_size=”60px” text_line_height=”36px” background_color=”#b599f3″ custom_margin=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”40px|40px|40px|40px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”32px|0px||0px|false|false” custom_padding_phone=”15px|15px|15px|15px|false|false” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” text_orientation_tablet=”” text_orientation_phone=”left” text_orientation_last_edited=”on|phone” border_radii=”on|24px|24px|24px|24px” global_colors_info=”{}”]
Changes around death can make the world feel unpredictable to us all, but this may feel particularly so for young PDAers.<\/span><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”gcid-d4d84b5e-d061-48e7-894c-a52b4e3d47de” custom_padding=”||||false|false” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-d4d84b5e-d061-48e7-894c-a52b4e3d47de%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding_phone=”||24px||false|false” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_heading title=”Breaking the news” _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” title_level=”h2″ title_text_align=”left” custom_margin=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false” title_text_align_tablet=”left” title_text_align_phone=”left” title_text_align_last_edited=”on|desktop” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_heading][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”32px|0px||0px|false|false” custom_padding_phone=”0px||16px||false|false” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” text_orientation_tablet=”” text_orientation_phone=”left” text_orientation_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”] Being clear and honest can help young PDAers feel safe and maintains<\/span> trust in the relationship you share. Using simple language that is honest and factual can avoid causing confusion.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”32px|0px||0px|false|false” custom_padding_phone=”0px||16px||false|false” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” text_orientation_tablet=”” text_orientation_phone=”left” text_orientation_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”] It can help to explain death as a natural part of life using examples from nature such as a flower wilting or a pet fish dying, or something else that they can relate to. This can make it easier to understand, and might help to encourage them to ask questions.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”32px|0px||0px|false|false” custom_padding_phone=”0px||16px||false|false” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” text_orientation_tablet=”” text_orientation_phone=”left” text_orientation_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”] Books might also be useful to start conversations, although may be more suitable for younger children. Some suggestions are:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It is better to keep discussions short, clear, calm and honest with key ideas repeated if necessary. Allowing this to be child led as much as possible is also important.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”gcid-d4d84b5e-d061-48e7-894c-a52b4e3d47de” custom_padding=”||||false|false” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-d4d84b5e-d061-48e7-894c-a52b4e3d47de%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding_phone=”||24px||false|false” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_heading title=”Managing the demand of funeral arrangements” _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” title_level=”h2″ title_text_align=”left” custom_margin=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false” title_text_align_tablet=”left” title_text_align_phone=”left” title_text_align_last_edited=”on|desktop” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_heading][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”32px|0px||0px|false|false” custom_padding_phone=”0px||16px||false|false” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” text_orientation_tablet=”” text_orientation_phone=”left” text_orientation_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”] Changes around death can make the world feel unpredictable to us all, but this may feel particularly so for young PDAers. Giving advance notice of events where possible, and explaining what to expect-especially around funerals, wakes or changes to the normal routine can help provide some predictability and create a sense of safety. If the situation allows it may also be helpful to visit venues in advance so that there is some familiarity with the layout, and any sensory challenges might be identified.<\/p>\n Other suggestions include:<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”32px|0px||0px|false|false” custom_padding_phone=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” text_orientation_tablet=”” text_orientation_phone=”left” text_orientation_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”] <\/span><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|16px|0px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”32px|0px||0px|false|false” custom_padding_phone=”0px||16px||false|false” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” text_orientation_tablet=”” text_orientation_phone=”left” text_orientation_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”] Being flexible and understanding if plans change at the last minute can be tricky when all family members are feeling emotional, but it\u2019s important to try and remember that young PDAers are doing their best. Having an \u201cexit plan\u201d or safe person to leave with can make attending any part of the day feel manageable.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Caveat||||||||” text_text_color=”gcid-body-color” text_font_size=”36px” text_line_height=”36px” background_color=”gcid-6923f909-25e5-4c77-be27-cbebb4bb1b7c” text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”0px||24px||false|false” custom_padding=”40px|40px|40px|40px|false|false” border_radii=”on|24px|24px|24px|24px” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-body-color%22:%91%22text_text_color%22%93,%22gcid-6923f909-25e5-4c77-be27-cbebb4bb1b7c%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}”] Everyone experiences grief in their own way and young PDAers may not express emotions in the way others around them might expect. Some may appear calm and detached while others feel intense emotions of anger and sadness that can shift quickly. All these feelings are valid and may be felt and shown at different times.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”] A young PDAer might:<\/p>\n Even if the young person does<\/span>n\u2019t seem outwardly sad, it is likely they will still be feeling the impact in their own way.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”gcid-primary-color” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-primary-color%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”] Grief can heighten sensory sensitivities and young PDAers might need quiet time, familiar objects, or repetitive activities to self-regulate and manage emotions.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”] Small adjustments can be helpful:<\/p>\n You could support expressions of emotion by:<\/p>\n Remembering someone can bring comfort and connection to help a young PDAer hold on to positive memories while gradually finding ways to move forward.<\/p>\n Together, you could try:<\/p>\n Caring for someone who is grieving \u2014 especially if you are grieving too \u2014 can be exhausting. Try to make time for rest, reach out for peer support, and talk to someone you trust.<\/p>\n Connecting with others who understand PDA or bereavement can make a real difference.<\/p>\n There are many organisations that can provide support for grieving families. The organisation below is specifically tailored towards SEND children.<\/p>\n\n
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How a young PDAer might show grief<\/h2>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]
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How to help a young PDAer with grief<\/h2>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.5″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]
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