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Something positive thats working so far.
  • Maryann
    Posts: 53
    a little over a year ago when i was on one of my family visits to america, my dad was doing a thing with my little brother that seemed a good idea although at the time had no effect on my daughter when we tried it.

    ive now decided to try it again, its gone well for the last two days it may not work tomorrow but it has been well worth the time its worked so far.

    it works by making tickets, i cut some card out into small 2or 3cmx 1cm size tickets (obviously can be any size) i then got her to draw on them so they are her creations if you know what i mean. we then got a flora tub for a ticket box (money box type thing) and we decorated that and put a slit in the top, you can imagine how pleased she was with them.
    you can decide on the rewards or the tickets earned, but the way i have done it, i asked her what sort of rewards she would like (this didnt go down very well and she didnt understand what i wanted her to tell me so made them up myself with her approval. an example of what i have done is 5 tickets for trip to the park/picnic, 5 tickets for some squid (lol she loves it) 5 tickets for prawns (lol she loves that to) 10 tickets for swimming or bowling or £5 toy (can also save this for a bigger toy) 15 tickets for £10 (same deal with £5) 25 tickets for a trip to amusment park/farm.
    each morning she gets an initial 3 tickets she keeps with her and throughout the day they can gain tickets by being good, or doing positive things, for example i asked her to tidy her mess up she made, normally this would never happen but not only did she tidy up her mess, she helped me tidy up plates and stuff i gave her two extra tickets for this. we had a number of tickets taken away also due to running of when guests left,after i threatened to take a ticket she came and i went to find some keys and she ran off again, i took a ticket, while i was on the phone she played up again quite bad so took another ticket etc. she went to bed when i asked her and after a couple of hiccups she stayed in her room, i gave her another ticket for this.

    yesterday she ended up with 2 tickets to put in her box at the end of the day (once they are in the box at the end of the day they stay there and are not taken way with bad behaviour) today its now 7 pm and she has 5 tickets, we have had no bad behaviours that have continued after a threat to take a ticket, and she had 1 extra for letting me stay in bed for a bit this morning and not trashing the house, or upsetting the animals, and i have given her another 1 for having such a wonderful day so far, she even took my dinner bowl into the kitchen for me. we have had lots of kisses and cuddles today (this i normally find very hard as she is always making me angry) and i cant tell you how wonderful its been today. last night we had guests and normally she really plays up with this certain guest as she is very highly strung and my daughter knows exactly what buttons to press with her and enjoys every second of doing it. but we had none of it last night. lol tomorrow will be the biggest test seeing if it helps going out of the house :)

    when she has her tickets in the box she can decide how she trades them, if she wants squid she can trade in 5 tickets from her box, or if she wants to go to alton towers, she needs to save up 25 tickets. rewards are only given from the box not used by the tickets she has during the day, so if she wants £10 but has 14 tickets in her box, she cannot use the tickets she has today, she has to wait till tomorrow when todays tickets are boxed.

    this is very much worth trying its very different from star charts and the like, if it doesnt work, try it another time like i did.
  • Just Dandy
    Posts: 19
    Hi
    We tried something very similar when my son was younger with marbles (he loved them) and for a while it worked. We have done lots of other similar things (smiley face charts but that only worked when he was very young) we sort of reintroduced things as he got bored of the current one and yes when it's working what a good feeling. The trick is to get their participation as you have done as it means more to them.
    Best wishes Donna =D>
  • Nicky
    Posts: 11
    Thanks for sharing what has worked for you. I will give it a try and let you know how it goes. Do you have other children? I am wondering if you would need to have this token system for all of them. I am finding my younger children (I have three younger children) are starting to ask why Kate get this or that and they don't.
    Nicky
  • Hi
    Fortunatley I only have the one. If i had more I don't know what I would do as it would get really expensive if you did this with all three.
    Maybe you could do the same but for less privelages and use age as a reason.
    difficult one though. Do you think they would understand if you told them why you do it
    Donna
  • Maryann
    Posts: 53
    i personally would do the same for all of the children but work out the rewards that they choose in a manageable way. it doesnt have to be costly, mine are things like, going to the park, swimming, magazines, squid and shrimps, the more expensive things like alton towers shes got at 25 tickets, she will want magazines before saving for alton towers.

    its not working aswell as it did at first, but theres still a difference its making at the moment.
  • Hi
    You will probably find with most things that you try that after a while the impact wears off. This is why with PDA lots of strategies are needed. It's like they get wise to things after a while. Thinking of what you can try next for me was always a challenge. Don't give up with it though. My son has always been generally better at home than at school. He is almost 10 now and we have a school/ home book where his ECO tells me how is day has been. He gets 25p for half a day if he has tried hard and behaved well. Money is a big motivator and this has worked really well for me. When we come to the end of the week he will actually tell me now when he thinks he didn't deserve to get 25p and why. He is at least thinking of how his behaviour can affect him and others.
    Good luck
    Donna
  • Maryann
    Posts: 53
    money never motivated my daughter nor did toys, but recently say the last 6 months money has become very motivating for her, but i want that as my last resort, i hate to see her waste money that shes earnt on crap, i want to leave it as long as i can hopefully till she can think well if i wait a couple of days i can buy a toy or something rather than buy magazines (she dont read them shes obsessed with the freebies that get looked at break and go in the bin) and sweets. but i know that what lasts one minute may not the next but i have some alternatives up my sleeve. but although it isnt going so well, its still going way way better than the holidays would be without it.
  • Hi

    We have done token systems that are basically similar - one token for getting dressed ( huge problem this one was for my boy with asd/pda) one for teeth morning and night, one for getting undressed, etc. He stopped being motivated by these over the summer months. so time to be creative again.

    The new system works on the i,ve been caught being good bracelets. This works out really well if you have a big family. all children have bracelets that they can earn each day to wear for the next day they return the bracelet at dinner time and at bed time a family conference is called (takes 5 mins to do) . They are then told if they have earnt the bracelet for the next day to wear, if so why your so pleased with their good behaviour. If they havent why they havent and how they could earn it the next day.

    If they earn the bracelet for 4 times then they can have a reward - my kids love habbo hotel at the moment and credits on their start at 2.50 hence a cheap solution.

    My lad with the asd/pda has taken great to this system and loves the bracelet and wears it with pride ( especially if his siblings havent won theirs!) At first he got upset about lossing the bracelet but now in our family conference he normally tells me why he hasnt won it.

    I got the bracelets off ebay very cheap and easily replaced if lost.

    take care

    amanda
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