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WE need a little help
  • hi everybody we have a lttle girl aged 4 with aspergers and she has violent outburst's where she will atack her siblings. (Boy aged 3 and Boy aged 7 with pda) This also has a knock on effect as the youngest one copies everything that she does. We are looking for advie on how to deal with these outburst.

    Any ideas would be very welcomed.

    Thanks Chalk and Cheese
  • Hi there, I'm in a similar situation as I have a 6 year old with PDA and a 3 year old, both boys and I have trouble with my 6 year olds outbursts and attacks, he even loses it with me and hes a very strong little boy. Although he has PDA,when he does have an outburst,I quietly remove him from where he is and he has time out. I call it calm time and he goes up in his room for how ever long it takes to calm down. It teaches the younger ones that its not acceptable, calm down time has lasted hours before with him trashing his room in the process, however its slowly improving, theres no cures for there outbursts bless them but what else can we do? Im new today to this forum and when i saw your messsage i wanted to reply. Good Luck
  • webbwebb
    Posts: 2,565

    I can fully identify with what you are going through. It must be very exhausting for you with 3 little ones.
    I have girl( normal) boy(aspergers) boy(pda) and when they were your childrens age life just seemed one long battle of trying to sort out fights.
    Mine are now 17, 15, 12 and yes things have got better. We struggled for a long time to try to be a "normal" family but little by little we gave up and now do what the boys can cope with.
    We have managed to stop most of the fights by keeping the boys seperated. I wanted so desperately for us all to eat at the table together once a day but to avoid full scale war everyday we never have them together at the table!
    When they are young it is so hard to keep them apart but if they do attack each other then I think the culprit should be put in time out(which should be a safe place).
    It is my Asperger child who has always attacked his younger brother, I have found this easier to handle as they have got older, the attacks are fewer but when they do happen they are harder to stop.
    When the child is in time out they will often trash the room they are in so remove all breakables and ignore the trashing! When the child is calm let them come out and say no more about the incident.

    Time out is not our only form of discipline.
    Because each of our children are very different, they each have different forms of punishment.
    My girl gets grounded if she misbehaves.
    My Asperger son gets banned from the internet.
    The youngest misses pudding cause he loves his food!
    Obviously if we do have to discipline them the boys do have massive trantrums etc. but once I have said NO I mean NO, once I have given out a punishment I don't change my mind!
    I feel I have to be strict but I also spend lots of quality(play) time with each of our children.
    I have been at home with the children for 17 years and have not been able to return to work but I don't see how I could have managed the children and a job and stayed sane!!!
    These children are very draining but spending time with them helps you to work out what triggers their outbursts and how you can prevent them.

    Hope this helps
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