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Anyone's PDA child been exluded for a day for persistent swearing?
  • Our 13 year old daughter has been excluded for a day for swearing. She had been given extra warnings and had a suspended exclusion with a warning that if it happened again she would be excluded. The school think they have made reasonable adjustments for her and have no option but to exclude her now. Most of the swearing is triggered by anxiety either because of pressures (homework not done) or bullying (children winding her up on purpose). She then goes on to deny and lie, more behaviour seen as defiance etc etc.

    We think she has been doing exceptionally well at school and has been engaging so well with the routines and demands.

    She was excluded yesterday (Friday) and we received the official letter today (Saturday) and now we see in the letter that she has to have an interview with the head teacher on Monday at 9am. This is just going to cause so much anxiety in her that she is likely to exhibit the exact behaviours that they have excluded her for.

    Does anyone have any advice about how we should proceed with the school? They want to set up a TAC meeting (previous one didn't work) and also art therapy (I'm sceptical). Instead I think I would like some proper PDA diagnosis paid for (currently she has ASD diagnosis) and PDA specialist professional involved with school to take things forward.

    Any advice appreciated!
    thanks

  • I had similar issues constantly and I got in touch with NAS who were brilliant at helping my with what to do/say and our rights, the school did then retract some of their poor behaviours but i removed my daughter in the end as they simply were not ready to support PDA teen - in her new school they do everything to support and it’s a big difference - email them they will help and it’s free service Education.Rights@nas.org.uk
  • I had similar issues constantly and I got in touch with NAS who were brilliant at helping my with what to do/say and our rights, the school did then retract some of their poor behaviours but i removed my daughter in the end as they simply were not ready to support PDA teen - in her new school they do everything to support and it’s a big difference - email them they will help and it’s free service Education.Rights@nas.org.uk

    thanks I will email them.



  • Pop
    Posts: 1
    Hi I'm new on here my daughter is 14 has recently been assessed as high functioning autism but after investigate I think it is pda what do you think ?I'm a struggling single parent
    She has just been caught shoplifting but has made up various lies, she is hanging out with a bad crowd I try & monitor her but she just swears at me & becomes aggressive.she is constantly telling me to do one or will put her ear phones in & refuses to talk to me she will not attend detentions refuses to attend some lesson.Has eating problems now her behaviour is become more extreme , she constantly lies , refuses to do anything but hang out with friends .Any comments received gratefully


  • webbwebb
    Posts: 2,565
    Hi Pop,

    Welcome to the forum, I hope we will all give you the support you are seeking.


    It can be difficult for us to say whether your daughter has HFA or PDA as we haven't met her and know very little about her but if you feel she may have PDA it would be beneficial for you (and your daughter), to start using the PDA Strategies which are on the website -
    https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/families/strategies

    It does take quite a while to start using a different form of communication and negotiation with our children but after a while you should see her anxiety, need for control and avoidance start to decrease a little.

    I would just say that children with Aspergers/HFA don't tend to lie, steal and hang around with a bad crowd, so you may have a child with the PDA Profile of Autism.


    I hope you can read all about PDA on the website and buy a couple of books 'Understanding PDA in Children' would be the place to start.
    There are also some very good Webinars, each approx. 30 mins long -
    https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/resources/webinars

    If you would like to speak with a trained parent volunteer from the PDA Society, use this contact page - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/contact




  • DAC
    Posts: 12
    Oh dear, sorry to hear that. Yes I teach and I find it very difficult when staff do not understand when swearing needs sanctioning and when it does not. It is quite obvious when you know what to look for. PDA is handled differently to ADS children.
    Yes push for a TAC meeting, BUT take with you a PDA advocate/ expert- ideally a professional who can explain on your behalf, schools tend to take more heed of 'professionals' than the people living and breathing the syndrome. That is changing slowly. Swearing is a visual and auditory signal flashing to say 'OVERLOAD-help' These PDA youngsters descend into a mist and it is almost as if they are struggling to stay afloat and it is very frightening for them when they can not see someone who they feel safe with while they are going through a melt down.

    Totally agree with comment above me about lying and stealing with this group.
    All the above websites are very helpful. Good luck

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