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new to forums i have a child with pda need advice
  • hi i have a son that has been diagnosed as pda he si in his final year at juniors school which is mainstream but i am really worried about senior school.i have been reading up on the pda and saxon (my son)seems to come under the camoflauge type at the moment.
    i also have a daughter who they say has oppisitional defiance dissorder but after reading all the info on pda she seems to fit that too so im going back to see the doctor to see if this could be so .at the monent she has run away from home ,although saxon and tulip are different there has always been some things similar about them.i have 8 children and only 2 have special needs ,we may be doing something wrong in there bringing up but then how come the others are fine ,im atr a loss i dont know what do
  • Amanda
    Posts: 281
    Well for a start this isn't about your parenting skills hun, if it were I would think you'd be having similar problems with all of your kids. I suppose to be honest although you are worried about senior school the only thing you can do about that at the moment is to start opening the channels of communication with the school he will be oging to next as soon as you can so that they have as full a picture as possible about his needs by the time he gets there.

    The key for me to coping with PDA is about learning as much as possible and using that info to give you a clear understanding of their needs. My son is 17 and the one thing I can tell you is that there are no quick fixes, but with time you will learn enough to be able to help your son with his anxieties.

    Take care

  • i have made appointments with 2 local schols for the beggining of october so i shall see how we get on.and i will be taking as much info about the pda so they can get a n idea of what it is as every where we go nobody has heard of it .the school saxon is in at the moment were very understanding and he has made good progress with his social skills and school work and the tamptrums have been almost under control but i just hope that all the hard work that we've achieved with him doesnt get lost again
  • webbwebb
    Posts: 2,566
    Hi mumofeight

    I totally agree with Amanda, if it was your parenting skills then all of your children would be behaving like saxon and tulip.
    Sometimes these types of disorders can run in families but often they only affect a few of the children and not all.
    I have 3 children and 2 are affected. One Aspergers, one PDA. One totally unaffected!
    I'm glad to hear that the prof's are recognising his problems and yes I think its time to say something about your daughter tulip. I hope she returns home soon or at least you find out where she is.
    No 2 children are the same therefore no 2 children with PDA will be identical.
    Secondary school is hard for any child with special needs and I agree that you should make contact with the SENCO of the Secondary school soon. The more they know about your son the more they can prepare for his needs.

    Take Care and be re-assured you are a good mum and you abviously care about your children.
  • Hi there
    thought i would reply, i'm new too, and all i can say is, you know for sure when something is wrong. Mums instinctively know, that is what has kept me going, and finally getting the right diagnosis. And one more thing, if we didn't care, we just wouldn't bother fighting, but we do care, and we will fight for our kids, even in the most horrendous times, that makes us all brill mums, don't you think!!! So remember none of this is your fault, just keep remembering how hard you work, and how much you love them, no matter what, you are a great mum, facing extremely challenging behaviour, you should call yourself SUPERMUM
  • My daughter started secondary school at a grammar school so the pressure on her was huge. She was 1 of only 2 kids in her class to go there and the other is not really what you'd call a "friend". Ellie was diagnosed with PDA about 3 and a half years ago and we have been concerned about how she would cope when she moved up but the school have been brilliant. They have listened to our advice and that of the local Autism outreach teacher but more importantly they've listened to Ellie! The 1st week was a bit rough, she couldn't eat because she was so uptight, but 4 weeks in and she's really settled well, better than any of us could even have dreamed of. The proof of her ability to cope will come when we have the 1st major episode but ALL the staff she comes into regular contact with are aware of her condition and how it will affect her and have been given strategies to help her overcome her anxiety. It may be that this is the exception rather than the norm but i hope that it at least gives you some hope for thier futures in secondary school. My advice would be to approach the school as early as possible and give them as much info about your child and how PDA affects them to enable the school to prepare for them starting.

    i hope this is useful.
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