Sign In

Please sign in using the log in form at the top of this page or click here

Not a member

You need to register before you can start a new discussion or comment on a post.

Click the button below to go to our forum registration page.

In this Discussion

Welcome to the PDA Society Forum. Please take time to read the 'Forum terms and conditions', which can be found via this webpage:https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/terms-and-conditions and also in our NEW Forum User Guide: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/forum/forum-users-guide-created
Messages in the 'General Discussions' category of the forum are visible to all internet users. You are therefore advised not to post anything of a confidential nature in this category.
Welcome to the PDA Society Discussion Forum. Please read our User Guide for more information and contact forum@pdasociety.org.uk if you would like to join one of our closed Member Forums for registered members only.
My boy thinks he is bonkers :-(
  • We were strolling along (walking to the shops) T was being ever so good, he suddenly asked me if he was a bad boy, then he asked if he was a naughty boy and finally he asked me if he was crazy! he asked me these questions with a very dull expression on his face, to me he was being very serious Sad

    Now my baby is starting to feel like he is crazy.

    He is also saying 'not in my world' a lot lately, even family & friends have heard him say this. He will drop it now & again when maybe im trying to make him do something at the time.

    All i want his help for T and something has to give before its too late.

    Bambi x
  • webbwebb
    Posts: 2,578
    Hi Bambi

    I suppose T may have over heard someone say something or he is already begining to realise he is different.

    My son Matthew 13 has mod/severe learning diff's with his PDA so is unaware he is different. However my other son Jonathan who has Asperger's (no learning diff's) began to realise he was different when he was about 8 yrs old. He would say very similar things to your T. It tore at my heart to hear him say "I'm not normal, I'm mental" etc.

    Jonathan is now 17 and accepts he has Asperger's. He has come a long way in understanding himself and coping with his problems. It has been a rocky road we have journeyed with very little help. He missed out on a lot of his education approx. 2/3 years but what I have seen is that now he understands himself better he can apply himself and achieve.

    Our children have development problems which means they are going to develop, in many ways later than other children. We need to get them through the childhood years and maybe then we will see them flurish!

    It is heart breaking to see and hear their torment but as their mothers we are the best ones to help them through it. They can rely on us and we will be their for them forever, we will never let them down.

    The things he is saying are normal for children with development problems such as PDA and AS, but it's not easy hearing it !!!!

    T loves you and trusts you or he wouldn't tell you these things.

    Paula
  • Thnx Paula :)

    I know T feels very secure with me and trusts me, thats why i get all his joys and all his frustrations taken out on me, i suppose i am his everything.

    Bambi x
  • Lixina
    Posts: 289
    My advice, as an autistic person with demand avoidance, is the following:
    a) explain PDA to him. Tell him the name, explain what it means, and tell him what traits of his are explained by that. Emphasize that there are many kids with this condition.
    b) emphasize his good points. If everyone always focuses on your bad behavior and what you have trouble with, you're going to start feeling like that defines who you are. Build on his strengths and let him know what you really like about him. Many demand avoidant kids, for example, are very imaginative. Encourage him to imagine things. Maybe he could even become an artist of some kind - I'm a fiction writer.
    c) get him in contact with other kids like him. Demand avoidance syndrome is rare enough that you might find it hard to get him to meet another kid with that condition, but chances are he'll find a lot in common with other high functioning autistic kids, especially the more sensitive and creative autistics. And just being with other kids who are different, even if they aren't like him, will help if it means he no longer stands out from the group. I've found acceptance in a group of kids with mixed developmental disabilities. We're all so diverse that none of us really stand out from the group.
  • angel child
    Posts: 215
    Hi BAMBI,

    my son says things like this too but he also wants to be seen as the BAD BOY,CRAZY child etc it drives me mad.

    The other day we was in the bmx shop where the worker was chatting to my son, my son asked if he knew another child who shops there alot and my son said do u know what school he goes to, man said no and my son said he goes to same school as me and pointed to his logo, he then said to my son, argh you must be a naughty boy then, I was fuming but quite politly said, Tyler you're not a naughty boy are you, just other schools couldn't manage you very well.

    My son's school has a very bad name in our area which definatly doesn't help my son cos he sees himself that way now.

    Bambi is your son about my son's age, 9 they could always chat on msn if you like but my son is quite slow :lol:
  • Lixina
    Posts: 289
    So, do you mean that Tyler attends a special school?
This discussion has been closed.
All Discussions