Sign In

Please sign in using the log in form at the top of this page or click here

Not a member

You need to register before you can start a new discussion or comment on a post.

Click the button below to go to our forum registration page.

In this Discussion

Welcome to the PDA Society Forum. Please take time to read the 'Forum terms and conditions', which can be found via this webpage:https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/terms-and-conditions and also in our NEW Forum User Guide: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/forum/forum-users-guide-created
Messages in the 'General Discussions' category of the forum are visible to all internet users. You are therefore advised not to post anything of a confidential nature in this category.
Welcome to the PDA Society Discussion Forum. Please read our User Guide for more information and contact forum@pdasociety.org.uk if you would like to join one of our closed Member Forums for registered members only.
ok so we are going on holiday and I need some strategies to keep me calm!!
  • mrscoco
    Posts: 190
    Hi guys,
    Our holiday abroad is getting nearer, 2 weeks today!! I would love to be excited but my head is not in the clouds (although it was when we booked it in feb!) when we booked it I think we were in a stage of hope and lulled into a false sense of security!! Anyhow - keep talking about it very discreetly in conversation etc and she seems excited, I keep emphasising the fact that its a break from her regular ocd (in her room) and the only thing we want to do is go in the pool etc (no real demands) however Im not stupid I KNOW its not going to be that easy because even though she can relax she will be out of sorts in a strange place and that is prob going to cause her some anxiety and stuff is NEVER easy with my daughter!! If anyone has any tips just to give me a little bit of hope and some order in my own brain that would be much appreciated. Thank youuuuuuu!! :)
  • mrscoco
    Posts: 190
    I MUST BE MAD eeek no wait I am MAD!!!! :(( b-( >:)
  • PDA_ASD_Parent
    Posts: 4,188
    I never have a holiday because it wouldn't be a holiday! Hope you get some good tips!
  • Holly59
    Posts: 2,586

    mrscoco said:

    I MUST BE MAD eeek no wait I am MAD!!!! :(( b-( >:)



    Oh how I envy you. Managed few nights away when my youngest was in Concert. That will be it for the year. It was like a military operation getting the other one looked after . He had a meltdown the last time I left him for one night and a seizure the following day. It was much better this time for everyone.
    Have you approached the airline first and told them of her situation. Also airports also offer special arrangements for folks on the Spectrum. May be a quiet lounge.
    Not sure if tour companies offer anything.
    Make sure you take an insect net to go over the bed if she does not like bugs or ask does the hotel supply one.
    One of my friends has just gone to Spain in a Villa with his AS son. Tried London last year but that was far too busy, noisy.
    Does she have an iPad and headphones to listen to music, that's how my youngest survives public transport. Just for the engine noise.
    Has she any special comfort objects she wants to take?
    Try and have everything ready the night before so it's relaxed on the day you leave.
    You can share your tips when you come back.





    Good Luck xx

    PS Reki or massage for you for relaxation .

    http://www.autism.org.uk/About/Family-life/Holidays-trips/preparation

  • KazK
    Posts: 255
    I know how you feel! We had an awaful holiday to a really special place which was the final push to investigated PDA ( ah, sorry that doesn't help!). Were now booked to go on holiday to Scotland and son has developed a mad dislike to flies (we are on a loch).
    I suggest gin and pins colada, mixed if you must! No, seriously, the point I make is to try and remember to keep yourself calm (as in your post), and as relaxed ( outwardly to our daughter at least) - your anxieties will feed hers.
    Give her jobs before stresses to keep her in control.
    Definitely talk to the airline, you should board first at the very least.
    Distract with her leading the conversation, talk to your husband, take it in turns so you both get chance to talk to other passengers, staff etc
    Will she be reassured, or does she refuse this, if you anticipate for her and prewarn her? Sometimes with mine (more as he gets older) he's better not knowing until last minute (I take my chances which way to go) go with your gut instincts on this one!
    Enjoy x
  • mrscoco
    Posts: 190
    Thanks guys ....we did take her to Spain this time last year when her anxiety confessing (ocd) and pda behaviours had all just started and at times it was very hard...she stayed in the room a lot while we went for breakfast and dinner and I brought o lot of food to the room for her.. to be honest we were all in one room HUGE mistake. She did enjoy the water park though and did make friends and at the pool and had some good times in there. This Tim we have an apartment in hotel complex so I am going to be in the bedroom with her and husband and son in the living area...im hoping the fact she can be in bedroom if she gets stressed will be good as away from everyone...also will have food in the kitchen so no need for her to come to breakfast and there is the lure of cats wandering around the hotel (cat obsessed though they are strays! ) so in theory have a good few things in place but we all know that even with best laid plans it is not perfect! Yes we talked to airline and no waiting in airport or to board.
  • berniehenry
    Posts: 224
    BerniehenryJuly242016 We haven't been on holidays for a long time due to been hit very hard by the recession I think the airport is one of the most stressful parts of the holiday I know in Dublin Airport that if you let them know in advance you have a special needs child they fast track you through the whole check in and security check process.many parents have said it is a great helpYou should check if your airport does the same thing.
  • Holly59
    Posts: 2,586

    berniehenry said:

    BerniehenryJuly242016 We haven't been on holidays for a long time due to been hit very hard by the recession I think the airport is one of the most stressful parts of the holiday I know in Dublin Airport that if you let them know in advance you have a special needs child they fast track you through the whole check in and security check process.many parents have said it is a great helpYou should check if your airport does the same thing.



    https://www.dublinairport.com/at-the-airport/passenger-Information/special-assistance/autism-asd

    Some really good tips on their site. Defiantly AS friendly.
  • confused10
    Posts: 63
    Hiya, firstly relax and try to enjoy the good bits (there will be lots) and try not to sweat it when bits go wrong (too high expectations are a nightmare). I find I have to talk my son through it over and over before going (the travelling boring part particularly). His hudl (tablet) is a life saver for flight. We download his fave programs and he gets lost in those. We went to Portugal in May and he actually responds quite well to lack of demands of being able to just play in pool, on beach. We let him make most the decisions about what we did there! His confessing OCD thing massively flared up on hol (I'm scared I'm going to hit that child, I'm scared I stepped on a snail etc) and he would repeat these over and over and since they've calmed so think it was strange setting - tried to just let them wash over me!! (not easy). Have a great time. We are doing our first city break in a few weeks (now THAT could be stressful but again, planning whole thing around things he should enjoy and selling it on fact it is country that created Lego! He is now obsessed with visiting Lego flagship store so better start saving to buy something there and go straight there as soon as we get off plane or whole trip could be ruined!!!)
  • Holly59
    Posts: 2,586

    KazK said:

    I know how you feel! We had an awaful holiday to a really special place which was the final push to investigated PDA ( ah, sorry that doesn't help!). Were now booked to go on holiday to Scotland and son has developed a mad dislike to flies (we are on a loch).
    I suggest gin and pins colada, mixed if you must! No, seriously, the point I make is to try and remember to keep yourself calm (as in your post), and as relaxed ( outwardly to our daughter at least) - your anxieties will feed hers.
    Give her jobs before stresses to keep her in control.
    Definitely talk to the airline, you should board first at the very least.
    Distract with her leading the conversation, talk to your husband, take it in turns so you both get chance to talk to other passengers, staff etc
    Will she be reassured, or does she refuse this, if you anticipate for her and prewarn her? Sometimes with mine (more as he gets older) he's better not knowing until last minute (I take my chances which way to go) go with your gut instincts on this one!
    Enjoy x



    I live in the Borders and we don't get too many insects. Main issue is corn flies for a few weeks during harvesting. Tiny black insects which cover Windows , kitchen benches, you can spend hours with a vacuum nozzle sucking them up , gave up years ago, you just wait till harvesting is finished.



    When my eldest went on an outward bound trip the teachers recommended Jungle Formula , they reckon over the years it worked the best. Antihistamine is useful as well. Had to laugh someone posted a comment on a Facebook Page that Scotland is the only country in the EU that does not have a Summer. Go with my experience , four seasons in one day, if the Sun comes out make the most of it.
    Whatever the weather you will enjoy.
  • mrscoco
    Posts: 190
    Confused10 the confessing thing ahhhhh my daughter has had it for a year....oh I hate it .....it's not as bad as it was but make no mistake it's still there. She has quite a lot if scripted phrases which are 100 times worse before school. There was a time about 6 months ago she would chase my round the house saying this stuff....I even wore headphones ! Yes you are all right we have to go and have no expectations. ..wow I think that bit is engrained on me now and just enjoy any good bits x
  • confused10
    Posts: 63
    There will definitely be good bits, don't worry. I love taking the boys away despite the stress and, once we are there, find the novelty and fact he is engaged in fun things and free of many demands make things better for us than home, not worse (other than the confessing!). We get a lot of scripted phrases too and yes he will say it over and over, whatever i say makes no difference, it's like he has to get it out. Most common is 'I'm scared I'm happy about it" when something bad happens to someone. My current favourite is 'mummy, I've farted' - at the most inappropriate times! Ha! You have to laugh. Has your daughter been diagnosed?
  • mrscoco
    Posts: 190
    confused10 how old is your son, my daughter is 13 yes she has a diagnoses but only got it about a year ago (aspergers/asd traits however she fits the criteria for so many diagnoses like Spd/OCD/ADD with the pda traits but sometimes I think its like a chicken and egg scenario what came first... I was just looking at the critera for SPD as I am going to meet with OT tommorrow and there was a bit that said

    'must always be in control of environment and warn people what to do/not to do to be comfortable' -

    well thats my daughter but that is pda too so there is massive crossover and where does one end and one begin and they are all just a pick and mix of behaviours! But back to the confessing, I never thought I would meet anyone else whos child did that and she also has to tell me random crap just to get it off her mind even though ive told her im not listening or i dont mind etc!!
  • Hi mrscoco sorry about delayed response. My son is 5, as yet diagnosed but I suspect PDA and ADHD. Yes we get that a lot - mummy, I need to tell you something...and yeah doesn't matter what I say he'll still do it. I always think their minds are in overdrive and the sharing helps 'get it all out' to clear their heads. So many crossovers with the conditions - so hard to have a clear diagnosis - I guess it's working out which bits your child finds hardest and how best to help them deal with that rather than fitting them into a box?? I am still very much figuring him out - baffles me sometimes but is also the most adorable boy I have ever known. I hope you're enjoying your holiday. We go on Friday so getting nervous now and starting preparing him about what to expect already...
  • A1Sarah
    Posts: 4
    My friend and her family go camping every year, because no matter WHERE they go, the tent is always the same and her son deals with that very well :0)

Please Log in or Register to comment on this discussion.