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Incapacitating self when being controlling /melting down ...withholding toilet eating and drinking!
  • mrscoco
    Posts: 190
    So does anyone's else's.kids do this....daughter literally will make noises So that I have to help her do anything like get her clothes on go to the loo when she is in one of these meltdown things...She also withholds the toilet too not just in meltdowns but most of the time as it all seems too much hassle...she also doesn't eat at right times and then it is too late if we have had to go out like today to the hairdressers, she's 14 how can a teenager regress so much!?...then she wouldn't dream of eating in.front of other people so will starve all day and then will feel faint and like a wreck even though it a all her fault!!! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how just how!!!
  • Holly59
    Posts: 2,586

    mrscoco said:

    So does anyone's else's.kids do this....daughter literally will make noises So that I have to help her do anything like get her clothes on go to the loo when she is in one of these meltdown things...She also withholds the toilet too not just in meltdowns but most of the time as it all seems too much hassle...she also doesn't eat at right times and then it is too late if we have had to go out like today to the hairdressers, she's 14 how can a teenager regress so much!?...then she wouldn't dream of eating in.front of other people so will starve all day and then will feel faint and like a wreck even though it a all her fault!!! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how just how!!!



    http://gnc.gu.se/english/gillberg-s-blog/it-s-high-time-we-recognise-feeding-difficulties---eating-disorders-in-children-with-autism

    You really need to get a referral to a specialist Autism Dietician . It's a vicious circle I have one picky eater, liives on fresh air some days but at least he drinks . It affects the bowel, lack of roughage , wrong foods , causes pain , they don't want to use the loo because that = pain. .

    Does it matter where she eats , as long as she does . This young man is now 6 ft 5 ins tall and just in his weight parameter . Hopefully if they can prescribe something to help her go to the loo without pain that would in itself make her more comfortable .

    Pat xx
  • June67
    Posts: 754
    We have some similar with the youngest, won't dress self will only pee if I'm there to pull up his pants and trousers, needs someone to sit with him and play eye spy or guess the number etc while he's having a poo then wants to be cleaned like a baby... Am doing this at the moment although it's not great when I know he can do these things himself, can't fathom a reason why he won't. If I refuse he holds it in and causes himself discomfort and has a meltdown as well. Just have to bide my time until he decides to be independent again. Older one appears not to feel when needs to go or has been especially when he's playing on his games etc so there's often a big clean up to do there also although he does at least have the awareness that he's a bit old for that help but this sends him into a negative meltdown spiral which ends with him saying he shouldn't be on the planet and he should kill himself. Scary to hear from your 11 year old... Never sure how to answer except to say that's not a good solution and that I would be sad if he wasn't around... Younger also eats sugar like it's going to run out and refuses to brush teeth properly, only brushes the non wobbly ones in a cursory way. At least the tooth paste is going in the mouth a bit...better than a few months ago... I know it's so worrying and frustrating when they don't seem to want to help themselves. I agree dietician would be a good move.
  • PDA_ASD_Parent
    Posts: 4,188
    Youngest makes noises when she is worrying about something and wants me to guess what it is. She goes non-verbal and if I insist that I don't know and she has to tell me because I am rubbish at guessing, she continues with the noises and they get louder and more insistent. I think it's a control thing.

    Eldest will not do anything unless I ask/tell her to a lot of the time. So e.g. if lunch is ready and she's upstairs, even though she can smell the food and hear the noises of the oven and dishes being got out etc. she will stay upstairs unless I call her down usually. She has even admitted she has this behaviour. I left something on a seat outside her bedroom door which she knew was hers and she left it there for 2-3 days until I asked her why she hadn't taken it. She replied that she knew it was hers but she was waiting for me to tell her it was there and to take it. In meltdowns she will also withhold going to the toilet and announce that she is about to wet herself. When I went to visit a friend, I stayed overnight and eldest refused to eat or drink until I returned home. She didn't eat or drink for 24 hours, even though I was texting her my journey progress on the way back so she would be reassured. It's the ultimate controlling behaviour.
  • PDA_ASD_Parent
    Posts: 4,188
    mrscoco you found this - it seems to be the USA version (at the extreme end) of what we know to be PDA: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pervasive_refusal_syndrome

    Some of the same behaviours described above are listed and it's stated to be a comorbidity of autism and Aspergers!

    Hmmn that's just set me off thinking. If UK clinicians are so dogged about saying PDA isn't in the diagnostic manuals, there is a diagnostic code in the US manual for PRS and UK clinicians use the DSM as well as the ICD. They just need to tweak the name...
  • mrscoco
    Posts: 190
    Thanks guys, she will eat at least one decent meal.in.the day and is always better when she has been.out for some.fresh air etc so I'm.not too worried apart from the not eating in public etc ....I was just interested to see how many others incapacitated themselves in a bid to be in.control.

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