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Lies & Stealing
  • KarenP
    Posts: 1

    I'm new here, and I'm hoping to receive some advice from parents/carers in the same situation.

    My grandson is 13, and he is currently living with us because his mum can't cope with him.

    He was diagnosed with ADHD at an early age, also ODD and Autism.

    Our family support worker recently pointed us in the direction of PDA, and a lot of the symptoms relate to Rhys, but a few of them don't.

    He lies, constantly. He has also started stealing money from my purse. When challenged he blatantly denies doing it. He even said "Why would I steal from you, I wouldn't do that".

    I'm struggling to know how to handle this. Any useful/helpful advice will be very welcomed.
  • webbwebb
    Posts: 2,566
    Hi and welcome to the PDA Society Forum

    I am sorry to hear that your grandson is lying and stealing from you but this can be common for some children on the Autism Spectrum who have PDA.

    Sometimes they do not see how their stealing/taking your money has an impact on your life and feelings.
    Sometimes they do not even think of what they are doing as stealing ie 'It was just on the work surface so why can't I have it?'
    Sometimes they just do not realise it is wrong.

    I would strongly suggest the first thing to do would be to totally take temptation out of his way.
    When you come into the home lock your purse/handbag in a small safe or put it in your bedroom if your bedroom door has a lock on it.
    You will need all the other members of the household to do the same.

    Then it will be sitting him down when he is calm and talking to him about how it makes you feel, why it is wrong as it belongs to you etc etc - But do not get angry or raise your voice because he will stop listening and may get angry himself.
    It may take a couple of occasions before he realises it is wrong to take things that don't belong to us.

    There may be some resources/book you could use with him to get your point across - check out the NAS website/resources?

    I hope other parents will post soon
  • RhanHRhanH
    Posts: 1,138
    Hi and welcome to the forum. I would also echo Webb’s suggestion. We also find that using comic strip conversations with our daughter can help, as a pictorial view can often aid processing the information faster. Here’s a link which you may find helpful; the comic strip info is nearer the end.

  • newgirl
    Posts: 1
    I agree with Rhan, had the same problem but comic strips completely help!

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