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Getting 9 year old to agree to assessment
  • Beehive
    Posts: 7
    I've asked this question before but still have no answers as to what to do. My granddaughter refuses to see someone for assessment either at home or at clinic. She has threatened violence or absconding if it is put in place. It's the terrible irony of needing to believe she's perfect in every way that prevents her accepting help, and she's been able to articulate this to her mother.
    As I'm sure you'll appreciate, the first sniff of a 'strategy' and she's in full defensive mode.
    I'm not holding my breath but if anyone has successfully overcome this dilemma I'd love to hear from you.
    Many thanks
  • RhanHRhanH
    Posts: 1,138
    Hi Beehive, to quote “Webb” from a recent post to another family:

    “Some parents have to 'dangle the big carrot' in order to get their child to go to a diagnostic centre or to comply with an assessment at home.
    What would your son like at the moment? A bike, a PlayStation, a trip to London - there must be something he wants that you can promise to give him if he complies with an assessment.
    Have you tried to ask him why he doesn't want to have an assessment. Have you explained what would be involved?”

    Is this something that you could consider?

    Recently I had to take my 9 year old daughter somewhere she really didn’t want to go and I found myself explaining that sometimes we all have to do things that we don’t want to, I understand you feel worried but we can get through this together. Then we agreed a plan to get through the appointment. The appointment was tricky but we managed it.
  • Beehive
    Posts: 7
    Thanks RhanH
    I think her mother has tried the strategies you suggest unfortunately, but I'll check with her and make sure.

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