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Control over animals. Is this PDA or something else?
  • SGCmum
    Posts: 49
    Hi. I have so many questions but this is one if my biggest concerns so here goes. My daughter is so controlling with our pets, 1 dog in particular, and obviously this is very concerning as it sometimes borders in being unkind. She will keep hold of him when he wants to go, and sometimes jumps to scare him. This us particularly inappropriate as he is a rescue dog. She doesn't feel she is doing anything wrong and is quite immature in her attitude, to say she is 18. I think part of the problem is that he is her sisters dog, and it's a way if controlling her. Has anyone experienced anything like this, or can anyone say this is not PDA at all. It doesn't fit with what I've read about attitude to animals.
  • RhanHRhanH
    Posts: 893
    We have just re-homed a dog and I have to say our daughter with PDA is acting in a very similar way, our dog was also chosen for her sister. It feels as though when the dog doesn’t follow the plan she had in her head that’s when she decides to get close and treat him more roughly or drags him away if on a walk. It feels as if she wants to control the dog to get rid of the unpredictability!

    I know she loves the dog a lot as she draws lots of pictures (she’s 9), but equally she’s having to learn that the dog sometimes comes first and not her which is a hard but important lesson.

    Don’t know whether that helps.
  • SGCmum
    Posts: 49
    Thank you. It is so reassuring to know it's not just my daughter! I will have to think about the unpredictability aspect, it's a good point. Thats really helpful.
  • RhanHRhanH
    Posts: 893
    :-) Please do feel free to ask any other questions that you may have.
  • SGCmum
    Posts: 49
    Thank you. I have so many issues and questions it's hard to know where to begin The problem with the dog first showed itself in a very unusual way, prob not one that others will have experienced, but I'm hoping maybe someone will. My daughter felt the dog was not a dog at all, and was pretending to be scared to take all the love from her. This was the reason for referral to the pschosis team but as I said they have confirmed no pschosis. She was influenced by her voices apparently. It was a very difficult time as you can imagine. We still don't know if this is something else and this was before we were discharged and I started looking for explanations on line, and found my daughter ticked almost all the boxes for PDA. Will a few extra issues as you can see.. .
  • RhanHRhanH
    Posts: 893
    It must be so worrying especially as it can be so tricky trying to unpick things and find answers sometimes... however she has great support in you and I hope you can find some answers soon.

    Young people with pda often like to role play and expect others to follow... I wonder whether that could have had any influence although I’ve not come across that being projected on animals before?
  • SGCmum
    Posts: 49
    It's really hard to get my head around why she might have had those thoughts. It disrupted the whole family for months as we had to keep them totally apart. I guess you could see that as a control thing. But she seemed scarily convinced she was right. No one seems to know what may have caused it. She wouldn't discuss anything with me adyrr she first opened up, but thinking about it now that was a very effective way to have control so maybe that was just a coping mechanism, not just shutting me out for personal reasons.
  • RhanHRhanH
    Posts: 893
    I guess you need to keep an eye on things, keep records and see if there are recurring patterns, although I hope this period has now passed for you.
  • SGCmum
    Posts: 49
    Yes this period has passed thankfully so I could see it as a reduction in her stress levels.

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