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18 with PDA, I'm stuck in life and need help!!
  • Kolbias
    Posts: 1
    Hi!! This is my first time posting on this site! My name's Colby, I'm 18 and I have PDA, and I am stuck. My parents are not very involved in my life, and are very independent/busy... They're more like roommates than parents to me, and I have no real support. I've realized that I'm falling behind as my old friends are all moving on with their lives going to university and such. I'm staying another year in high school to get my 6 remaining credits (going into grade 13) but school is near impossible for me. I would consider my intelligence genius level but I do not fit in with society at all. I don't have a job, my licence, probably won't graduate high school for a bit, I have depression, and no one in my life at all but myself. I'm not going anywhere with my life at this rate, and I don't know what to do to get out of this mess... ANY SUGGESTIONS?
  • SGCmum
    Posts: 37
    Hi Colby. It sounds like life is really tough for you right now. I can only offer insight from the perspective of a mother of an 18 year old with possible PDA. You say your parents aren't supportive. I wasn't able to give my daughter the support she needed as I didn't know what her needs were. I have more of an idea now. Do your parents know what you would find helpful? Do you have a diagnosis, or suspect you have PDA? Perhaps your parents need more information, from you, or from the PDA website.
    You seem very low in mood. If you are just feeling like you don't know where you are going in life, I would say 18 is still very young. My own daughter has no idea of what she wants to do, having just left school. I think it will take some time for her to work it out. If your depression is severe, you may need to see a doctor.
  • RhanHRhanH
    Posts: 848
    Hi Colby, welcome to the Forum and thank you for feeling able to share about your situation.

    I appreciate it can be difficult talking to our parents, especially when they seem busy, but I wonder if they were told you’d like more help whether they’d be able to support you more; could you find a way of chatting to them? Sometimes as parents we think we know what our children want but actually need a nudge when we’re not quite getting it right. We have lots of information on our site explaining about PDA that you may find helpful to share with your parents, in particular our ‘pathway to support’. This section also shares details of Facebook support groups and blogs written by adults with PDA that you may find useful personally. https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/adult-life/pathway-to-support

    Does your High School offer a support network, maybe a counsellor that you could approach? They may be able to help you look at areas where you have expressed concerns, ie social situations, finishing school etc, or suggest other local professionals who you could approach.

    You also mention that you have depression and I would really encourage you to talk to a professional about this if you haven’t already. Again your school counsellor may be able to help or your local GP.

    Please do keep posting and hopefully others may also be able to reply to you from their personal experience.
  • Hi Colby,
    I really hope you still visit the forum because you sound like the kind of person I would love to know, I don't want to swear but fitting in with society can get pretty boring...

    First off, as someone just a little older than you, let me tell you - our old friends; the ones sailing off to university, three years down the line I guarantee you that half of them are going to come out the other side just as lost as you feel now. Think what you could do on your own in that time with the special mind you have!

    I'm not saying don't keep on with your education, you get some real freedom to explore exactly what you want the further you get; you might love that, you might get a chance to meet smart people just like yourself. Just don't stress - take as long as you like, I went back to school as a mature student and it was a whole different world, I was in charge!

    Saying all that, the best qualifications I ever earned were vocational, I did those courses after crashing and burning at university. I had all the smarts but none of the inclination, and I wasted a lot of money!

    Some of the nastiest people I've met on this planet only had one thing going for them, they were always busy...
    Who cares!?

    A job, the cash - that's gotta sound good. I'm sure most of the forum might agree though, get stuck in a job you hate...you'll hate yourself and everyone else around you!

    You're starting your life (I say as an old idiot) - it's the perfect opportunity to figure out what you love, you'll hear how that's helped so many younger people with PDA.
    If you want to, tell us one thing you enjoy, it might be something you haven't thought about in years! Maybe something you don't dare think about.
    I know from experience you can achieve it and maybe we can help.

    Good luck,
    Jack.

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