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Daughters demands cause meltdowns
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Hello. I am new to this site. I was wondering if anyone else has experience of a child having a meltdown because their denands are not met, instead of reacting to a demand made. Our daughter is 8 years old, has sensory issues, will lash out, hide under the table, cry, use foul language. She can change from one mood to another very quickly & if we try to discuss her meltdowns with her, she won't accept any responsibility & usually puts her hands over her ears & says "blah" "blah" "blah"! She loves playing the teacher & will set us homework to do (she will get very upset if we don't complete this). She is like this at home & with grandparents but at school she is very well behaved & the school do not seem to believe us. We have got a referal to ENC although we have had to fund this ourselves. Was just wondering if anyone else has a similar experience as our daughter seems to meet most of the criteria (when not at school) but usually if she decides she needs it. (E.g. being hungry, getting ready for school, clothes don't feel comfortable).
  • Moose
    Posts: 1,843
    Hi mandymoo,

    welcome to the forum.
    This would not be uncommon and really is part of the same demand avoidance problem, you need to think differently about what constitutes a demand.

    Obviously being asked or told to do something is a demand, but also not getting what you want/need/would like is a demand as well. By not getting what she feels she needs or wants, your daughter is having to cope with emotional/mental 'demands' ( eg disappointment, patience, trying to control her anger, expectations to behave or be good and accept that she can't have her desires fulfilled) and she also may be dealing with a physical demand through being told 'no' or it just not being possible. Examples here might be wanting to eat/being hungry when you are out and can't supply food, perhaps saying she is tired and wants to "go home now!" demanding this when it is not possible.

    talking to your daughter about her behaviour, would be another demand, putting her hands over her ears and saying "blah! Blah! Blah!" would be a classic demand avoidance strategy.

    Just because these kinds of things do cause some demands, does not mean that you have to give in to everything, but I guess we do find ourselves giving into more things than we might for a typical child. We do have to choose our battles and it is worth asking ourselves what things are important to say 'No' to.
  • webbwebb
    Posts: 2,566
    Hi mandymoo

    Welcome to the PDA forum.

    I hope we can all help you to understand your daughters difficulties.

    I think another way to look at things is:-

    1. There are "direct demands" - when an adult asks a child to do something or not do something ie "Please come to the table and eat your dinner" OR "Don't hit your brother"

    2. Then there are "percieved demands" - when the child instictively knows they should do something
    ie Child is in bed (it's a school day) and child can see it is 7.45am on the clock and can hear everyone is up but they are refusing to get out of bed. OR Child knows Sunday night is bath night and so hides under the bed or runs off down the road to avoid having a bath, eventhough NO ONE has actually said "it's bathtime".

    Not sure if I have explainned this well enough to understand but "Percieved Demands" could cause your daughter to have Meltdowns.

    It is not unusual for some children with PDA to be good at school, yet demand avoidant/explosive at home.
    Some are avoidant in both settings.

    Please keep posting so we can help.

    Paula
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Thank you very much for your replies. It really helps to know that we are not alone. Will keep you posted with how we get on at ENC.
  • Woopidoo
    Posts: 89
    Hi mandymoo

    By saying no you are then in control and she cant cope with not being in control. This is the case with my son. He will push and push to make you do it and if i don't he will either have a meltdown or change the demand to something else i.e. " well if you don't do that you need to do this" anything to give him the control back.

    Mags
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Yes it's the same with our daughter. If she decides she needs something, she needs it NOW! She cannot wait & will scream & start throwing things or say some horrible words to us. Then the next minute she will apologise, followed by more anger or uncontrollable crying. When we try to comfort her she will hide or say she's a horrible person but she cannot control it. It's emotionally exhausting & quite heartbreaking really. What seems to be more frustrating is that she is like this most of the time at home but as soon as we get to the school gate, she becomes a different child & her school haven't experienced anything like we have at home. We have had a meeting with a paediatrician but she said our daughter had good eye contact & social skills so it isn't PDA (from what we have read, we thought this was common with PDA). She also has problems with sensory issues (labels in clothing, certain noises & fears), loves to play being a teacher & gets very upset if we don't play along. We are hoping we will get some good advice from the ENC & will be able to know the best way to move forward. There doesn't seem to be any sevices in our area & we feel that our daughter is already being written off by the paediatrician before she has even been assessed. She has always been a quirky girl but her reactions seem to much more extreme & frequent over the last few months. She also never showed her meltdowns to anyone else but slowly she seems to be letting go so I think the school will start to experience them soon too. Sorry for going on so much & thank you for the reply.
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    We have received an appointment today for an ADOS test as our daughter scored 16 from the CAST questionaire (they said the cut off for the ADOS assessment was 15). What is concerning me is that the paediatrician has stated that our daughter has "perfectly normal communication skills & normal eye contact" so it is unlikely to be PDA. I feel very frustrated because everything else seems to be being over looked & think that we will just be fobbed off. We have got an appt through for ENC for June but are having to pay for this ourselves. Does anyone else have a child with PDA that has good communication skills?
  • webbwebb
    Posts: 2,566
    Hi

    Children with PDA have "better eye" contact than children with Aspergers or Autism but it can still be unusual!
    Their eye contact can be "over bearing" ie they can come right up to your face (in your personal space) and give "intense"eye contact with their verbal aggressive manner.
    This means their eye contact can still be unusual!
    Eventhough they can give eye contact sometimes, they often avoid direct eye contact incase we are going to ask them to do something.

    Children with PDA can appear to have good communication skills but what the Paediatrician is seeing is good spoken language, not good communication. Good communication skills can only be measured by a skilled Speech and Language Therapist who is trainned to identify communication difficulties with children on the spectrum (incl PDA children).

    I think your Paediatrician is only thinking about typical children on the Autistic Spectrum - children with PDA are not typical!!!

    Sensory Processing Difficulties are common among ASD and PDA children (PDA is an autistic spectrum disorder) - Your daughter may need an OT Sensory Integration Assessment to help with her sensory difficulties.

    The ENC will be able to assess your daughter for any of the Pervasive Developmental Disorders, ASD, AS, Autism, PDA etc.
    They will give you lots of helpful advice and a lengthy report 6 weeks after the assessment.

    It is common for children with PDA to try to be complaint at school, they remain quiet "under the radar" of the teacher so that no demands are placed on them. Unfortunately this means that when she gets home she is likely to explode!
    When the demands at school become greater ie Yr6 SATs some children can't remain quiet any longer!

    Paula
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Thank you. It's funny that you mentioned "unusual eye contact" because when our daughter is having a meltdown, she does come really close to you, with anger in her eyes. Her facial expressions are quite unusual at this time too. It makes sense for her to be worse when she comes home from school if she is holding it in all day. We don't know if it's better to encourage her to "let it out" at school or to do the opposite. I suppose that the school can't really do much if they don't experience it.
  • Moose
    Posts: 1,843
    What you describe would be quite typical for a child with PDA and (to an extent) common for many more able individuals with an ASD.

    By this, I mean that the difficulties ( or ASD variations from typical behaviour) may only be at their most obvious when under pressure/stressed etc. At more relaxed times ( or if they consciously masking things/trying to bottle anxiety in) the autistic traits may not be so apparent.

    When you say about your daughter in meltdown, you are seeing the traits or areas of weakness exposed. In your description you were mainly talking about the eye contact, but how abouta inappropriate personal space and exaggerated facial expressions? These would also be areas of difficulty associated with an ASD.
    I am sure too, that there will be other autistic traits revealed in meltdown that you have not mentioned:- misreading body language or what said eg "why are you shouting at me?why are you angry?", even when you are calm. Another aspect would be lack of imagination/rigidity of thought when in a rage:- ie not being able to see any alternatives or any way out of something that has been the final trigger for a meltdown.

    Intelligent and socially aware, they do know how they should behave/react etc. So, if calmer, it is easier to behave in a way that would be regarded as 'normal'. They are succeeding in masking their difficulties and may even be 'playing the role' of competent child ( this is often seen in school). However, if pressures/anxieties are too great, it is then much harder to accomplish this task and the fundamental and underlying problems are transparent.

    It is like so many things in life, shortcomings or problems are not exposed until they are tested.
    You may not know your cars brakes are iffy until you try to stop your car urgently, or you may not know that there is a hole in your roof until it rains!!!
  • Hulio
    Posts: 39
    Hi. I have a daughter who is 11 years old and is diagnosed with PDA. She has both good communication skills and eye contact. She behaves well at school but has huge difficulties at home. I struggled for 2-3 years to get her social and communication disorder overturned to PDA. She is extremely anxious, controlling etc. Ticks all PDA boxes apart from language delay when young. She is very clever!
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Our daughter does also pull very strange faces when in a meltdown. She will also just hang on me or wrap her body around my leg. She usually forgets the reason why she became upset in the first place (when in full meltdown) & we are unable to reason with her. She can go from laughing to screaming/being violent/swearing/hiding/hysterical, sometimes one after the other. I sometimes just wish that she would just let it out at school as she feels she needs to. The school have involved the paediatrician but neither really seem to interested in getting her the support that she needs, in fact we feel that they think it is our parenting skills that are yhe problem! I think we are just going through the motions. It is a really big support to have found the contact group & to know that we are not alone.
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Hi Hulio!
    Thank you for the post & am really pleased that you finally got the correct diagnosis.
    Could I ask if you managed to get a pda diagnosis through the nhs or did you have to go private.
  • Hulio
    Posts: 39
    Hi Mandymoo
    I managed to get my daughter a diagnosis via the NHS by a Paediatrician. First she was diagnosed with social & communication problems or (Atypical autism), then when I went back to CAMHS citing PDA they diagnosed her with Autism as PDA was not recognised in the London Borough that we lived in. Since moving to North Somerset I got her diagnosed with PDA (in Jan this year) where it is officially recognised!
    My daughter does all of the things you have mentioned in your earlier posts. She is now 11. If you ever want to chat on the phone or mail me directly it’s not a problem. Best for me on phone during the day as I am not working.
    Julia
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Thank you so much. That's brilliant. I will let you know how she goes with the ADOS assessment. I don't expect her to score very high & have read that the DISCO assessment would be better (not sure if that's right!). We have got an appt for ENC but not until June so I thought we would still go through the school/paediatrician to see if we can get anywhere in the mean time. I can't believe how difficult it is to get a diagnosis.
  • Moose
    Posts: 1,843
    mandymoo,

    just dipped back into this thread to see what been happening. On re reading my earlier response to you, I am a little concerned that I may not have been very clear and I hope you did not think I was implying that your daughter is more ASD than PDA.
    I tend to think of PDA as a very specific and unusual type of ASD, and certainly your daughter sounds very much like a child with PDA to me.

    I guess I was reading between the lines over what the paediatrician had said. I suspected that when they said about the eye contact and communication skills ruled out PDA, what they really meant was ASD. If they knew their stuff, they would be aware that good communication skills and eye contact are regularly recorded with PDA and are noted in the diagnostic criteria.
    However, I am also constantly amazed at how dumb some diagnosing professionals can be when it comes to identifying individuals on the spectrum, whether PDA or other ASD. It seems that unless the traits or difficulties smack them straight in the face, they can't see it.
    It is as if the only people than can possibly be on the spectrum, have to fit in with the narrow stereotype.
    This really was my point. So many children with PDA ( and many with higher functioning ASD) do appear pretty 'normal' or typically developing. Communication skills appear good, they seem socially able and can pull off a good impression of not having difficulties. But this is only at face value, underneath the problems are still there but perhaps need a little more pressure expose them. They may look robust, able and capable, but when 'tested' through the various pressures of life, it all falls apart. Why? Quite simply because they have same kinds of difficulties as those whose problems are more obvious.
    However, because they seem more able, more is expected of them and any failures are blamed on naughty behaviour, rather than seen as due to their condition.
    Just grieves me that the 'experts' so often fail to recognise this and potentially leave the child worse off than if they had a severe level of difficulty that a paediatrician couldn't fail to notice.
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Hi Hulio!
    Thank you for the post & am really pleased that you finally got the correct diagnosis.
    Could I ask if you managed to get a pda diagnosis through the nhs or did you have to go private.
  • mandymoo

    We too struggle with the Jekyll and Hyde nature of our son.

    It makes it very difficult to explain to a healthcare or education professional what they can be like 50-90% of the time at home when they are sitting in a paediatrician's office, good as gold, smiling, chatting, colouring quietly in the corner.

    We went down the route of videoing our boy - subtly - on his own iPad so that we had evidence of his meltdowns.

    But how to do it without being caught or without it becoming part of the confrontation that you are trying to capture is a bit tricky!

    Also - although we haven't done this ourselves - we were suggested by our paediatrician that we show our boy the video of his own meltdown. But I don't think he's ready for that and honestly I don't know if that would make your daughter more anxious than she already is.

    Dad of Tom
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Hi Moose.

    Thank you for your post again. I think that you have summed up our situation perfectly. From what we have read about PDA, our daughter certainly ticks a lot of the boxes, even going back to being a baby (we used to joke that she didn't do/speak much but she was "taking it all in"!) She was also in speech therapy & with all of her other traits i can't understand why we have to fight to try to get a diagnosis. All we want is the best for our daughter & to understand how she is feeling, rather than being offered another parenting course about using methods that do not work & usually only make her meltdowns worse. I didn't realise how many others are having difficulty trying to get help through the nhs!

    Thanks again, it is a huge support knowing that there are other people out there that know how you feel!
  • Moose
    Posts: 1,843
    Dad of Tom,

    I think you are right, your son isn't ready to view a video of his behaviour. To be honest, I am not entirely sure whether this is ever a good thing.

    Whether our kids show it or not, I think generally they are aware of their behaviour and I think this is part of the problem. Imagine being aware, but still unable to to do anything about it.
    it is a common misconception that all those on the spectrum are content with how they are, that they are comfortable with their behaviours. I think quite the reverse of this can be true, self esteem can be extremely low and there can be a strong dislike of self.

    Some children with PDA can show obvious remorse after a meltdown, others are just very unhappy and fragile. The behaviour that they find hard to control does impact on them, to then have to watch a video themselves may be too much to cope with.

    I do acknowledge that there are some that seem unaware of their behaviour, this may be a stage or a longer term outlook. Denying the obvious is quite common and at times a meltdown can occur and the child walks away as if nothing happened ( leaving everyone else wasted by the experience). However, even in these case I still believe that there is a huge impact on self. This is perhaps why some with the worst behaviours will also self-harm, venting frustration but sometimes punishing themselves for their own behaviour.

    I am not stating that bad behaviour should never be discussed, but we need to be aware that this is not always helpful and can make the situation worse. It is a hard balance to strike.
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Hi dad of Tom.

    We have actually managed to video our daughter a few times (purchased a camera in a keyring, very discreet!). I have also used my mobile phone just to record what she is saying during one of her meltdowns. I must admit that i don't like doing it but it is evidence & i worry that she will just hold it when we go to get her assessed. I don't think it would be good for our daughter's self esteem to show her any "proof" that we have collected as she is already aware of how bad things have become, but everyone is different so I suppose it could be of benefit if a child is not aware of what they are doing.
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Hi

    Our daughter has had the ADOS assessment today & we have to go back for the results tomorrow. I thought that our daughter would be really scared & quietly answer the questions but instead it was as if she was doing a theatre production! She was very loud, fidgety & doing silly voices. She came across as a child full of confidence, not anxiety! I must admit that i felt very uncomfortable, although we have seen this side to her before, it's not usually to this level. We usually get the angry/frustrated child. Also, she fell & scratched her neck at the weekend (she was dancing in her room & got dizzy!), this triggered a huge panic attack, where she couldn't felt she breath or stop shaking. We have never seen her like this before & she was just constantly crying for a good half an hour. She was saying that nothing is right & that she wasn't "right". For the rest of the day she just sat quietly on her own & seemed really depressed.

    We have also had a letter from CAMHS saying that they are unable to offer an assessment because PDA is not recognised by the service as it is not listed in ICD 10. They have however, offered the support of a family worker.

    Little bit confused by our daughter's behaviour today!
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Sorry about the wording. Our daughter felt like she couldn't breath & was shaking!
  • sinkorswim
    Posts: 565
    How are you feeling about tomorrow?

    It is amazing how different different snap shots of our children can be isn't it ?
    How is your daughter now? Any fall out from the assessment?
    My son has reacted in different ways to different assessments...some good others less so!

    Hope tomorrow helps put some more pieces of the jigsaw in place for you.

    What does a family support worker do? Do you know? I have no idea what we actually got when we were involved with CAMHS...odd though this may sound. And I am beginning to wonder if my son manipulated some of the professionals he saw...one described him as having mild anxiety and mildly disruptive behaviour which I challenged at the time - most people who witnessed him when hyperaroused would describe him as extreme at this time.
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Just a quick update. Have been for ADOS results today & daughter scored mostly "0", apart from a couple of sections where she got a "2" & "1" (sorry,can't remember which sections!). The paed did say that our daughter was restless & wants to try medication for ADHD. Not sure how I feel about this as she isn't always as she was yesterday & only think some of the traits fit her. She did say that we wouldn't get anywhrere as far as PDA was concerned because it isn't recognised where we live. We have to wait until June for our appt at ENC. Not sure if we should give ADHD meds a go to see if it makes any difference.
  • Moose
    Posts: 1,843
    I think I would be tempted to await the outcome of the visit to the ENC, I wonder whether they could/would offer an opinion on ADHD meds on the day?

    I have heard of stimulant type medications ( eg ritalin) making the situation far worse for those with a PDA type profile. However, I have no direct experience of them. One of our GPs was keen for our son to go on ritalin, but we declined. Later, when medication became almost unavoidable, the superb tier 4 CAMHS team we dealt with at the time, felt that ADHD meds would be totally inappropriate. Instead, our son was medicated for his anxiety.
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Hi Moose
    I think you are right. I have had a look at the side effects of ritalin & they sound quite scary. I think we are going to hold on until her assesment at ENC. I know we are not the professionals but i do feel that we know our daughter better than anyone. I'm sure she is more PDA than ADHD but we have basically been told to forget about PDA as far as the area/funding is concerned. I was wondering if an ADHD diagnosis is better than no diagnosis at all for "opening up" other services in our area & maybe getting some more support at school.

    Sinkorswim, sorry I haven't got back to you. Our daughter wasn't too bad after her assessment, although I was surprised that she let go during as much as she did. She is still very controlled at school though & they have yet to see what we experience at home. I'm not really sure what a family worker does but I think we want to wait until we have thorough assessment first. Have you managed to get a diagnosis for your son?
  • Moose
    Posts: 1,843
    I can understand your thought that maybe an ADHD diagnosis could be better than nothing. Sometimes we do have to accept a compromise to get access to some support.
    However, I would still be a bit nervous of a dx that is too far off the mark. I have to be honest, I don't know a whole lot about approaches/strategies for ADHD, but would be concerned that an ADHD label would steer support in the wrong direction.

    My son was originally seen as having emotional/behavioural problems, this was not diagnosed but was the general opinion. This led to placement in an BESD school, that took a strong traditional approach to behavioural issues. At the time assessments were still ongoing. We did not feel that our sons problems were emotional/behavioural, but hoped that this unofficial label and school would help.
    It didn't. For us the wrong support/school/label was actually worse than none at all.
    Eventually our boy was diagnosed atypical autism/PDA, the right labels. I can't tell you the difference this made.

    Clearly I don't know your daughter, I can guess at how close an adhd dx might be. However, my suspicion would be that it may be a too big a compromise. Assuming PDA is the real issue, an ASD label would be a better compromise, but I appreciate that this may be hard to secure.
  • mandymoo
    Posts: 38
    Yes, I can see what you are saying. I think we maybe felt a slight bit if relief that a professional has acknowledged that there are some issues. I was hoping it might help to get some support at school in place before her ENC appt. I'm not sure what services would be available but I know that we are also very cautious of doing the wrong thing.
  • Spearmint
    Posts: 552
    They have tried to diagnose adhd twice with my 9 yr old once before pda diagnosis was made and again recently when we moved to a new camhs area who dont believe in pda. Both times I told them where they could stick it and stuck to my guns! She doesnt portrey anymore hyper etc than another kid on the spectrum and certainly not deserving of an adhd diagnosis and that came from her original diagnosing team, which I think annoyed the old paed and he had to eat a massive humble pie before retirement! ;))
  • sinkorswim
    Posts: 565
    Hi Mandymoo,
    we have no diagnosis ...I am a rubbish typist but have a very very long story similar really to a lot on this group.
    Currently son has been at home for 12 months
    camhs did not know what to do with him and told us that our lea were unable to offer him a suitable education.....
    After camhs practioner showed us how to handle his behaviour and not be manipulated by it he ended up restrained by 3 at camhs and then stopped leaving the house then his bedroom...off the wall explosive behaviour etc etc for months.
    last week he told me that his angry feelings and frustration have finally gone but have been replaced with sadness and isolation. He has also begun going out a little more again, we have started guitar lessons (bit hyper but ok in them) and we are actually eating as a family most nights . this normal stuff is huge for us - the impact on my other children has been huge.
    just wondering what our next steps are.....an ed psyc mentioned pda last year but then thought not as our son engaged with him really well - we mentioned that thses sort of startegies were the ones we have had most success with
    we have used the pda strategies for years with far more success than any of the traditional stuff camhs have pushed us to use

    I am currently trawling through the forum archives and answering some of my questions and formulating more
    I've also read explosive child and understanding pda this week too

    hope you manage to attend your hospital appointment - it sounds really important that you make time for yourself.
    sorry to hear about all the problems you're facing with the lea and school - hope you find a way through them that doesn't create more problems for your daughter

    sinkorswim

  • Woopidoo
    Posts: 89
    Hi sinkorswim personally, i think hyperactivity is part of my sons PDA, my sons PDA outweigh his autism but his autistic part is becoming more apparent, the need for release, movement etc, i cant offer you any advice sorry, I would defo say my son also has ADHD I've considered meds in past reg anxiety but would be wary of medicating from an ADHD angle. I'm horrified that After reading your experience
    Reg
    Icamhs did not know what to do with him and told us that our lea were unable to offer him a suitable education..... THEY HAVE A DUTY TO PROVIDE HIM WITH AN EDUCATION THAT MEETS HIS NEEDS,

    After camhs practioner showed us how to handle his behaviour and not be manipulated by it he ended up restrained by 3 at camhs and then stopped leaving the house then his bedroom...off the wall explosive behaviour etc etc for months.
    last week he told me that his angry feelings and frustration have finally gone but have been replaced with sadness and isolation. He has also begun going out a little more again, we have started guitar lessons (bit hyper but ok in them) and we are actually eating as a family most nights . this normal stuff is huge for us - the impact on my other children has been huge.

    I'm sorry but i don't know the whole circumstances but is it maybe the case that proffessionals at CALMS have forced you to use traditional no nonsense methods, show him whose boss etc? And they have broke him as a person. Why do CAMHS know how to handle his behaviour? Do they understand and recognise PDA? We cant beat something out a person with PDA by traditional methods it is part of their core and a lifelong condition, we cant FIX it but we can learn them to cope a "bit" better but it never goes away, ever. This is in no way meant personally I'm just saying as I have done things in the past suggested by proffessionals that have always backfired, not worked, made situation worse! I'm kinda passed all that now, I'm much more assertive because of my knowledge of PDA and how it presents in my son. Go with your true instincts as a parent
  • Moose
    Posts: 1,843
    I could not agree more with woopidoo, I believe that a component of ADHD/ADD goes with PDA territory.
    If a PDA label is not used, how do you describe the difficulties? PDA is like a cocktail of many other conditions, so if PDA is not recognised or employed within a diagnosis it is likely that the next best fit will be used.

    Our children MAY look a little like a individual with a touch of ADHD, ADD, ASD, attachment issues, bi-polar, ODD...........the list is seemingly endless. However, none of these labels used alone ( or even all together) are really helpful. all alternative labels do contain an element of likeness, but also fall a long way short of conveying the complexity. The trouble is that if any of these alternative labels are used instead of PDA, there is a presumption that they define every aspect of the child. So, for example, a sole dx of ASD ( or atypical autism, Asperger's) is helpful in some respects, but can also be a hindrance if applied too rigidly. I wonder how many of us have struggled to impress on teachers/support profs that despite being on the spectrum, our kids do not respond well to being handled the way you'd expect for an ASD.
  • sinkorswim
    Posts: 565
    Thanks woopidoo
    I forgot to mention the 6m of pscyotherapy I had that basically took all my remaining confidence telling me every week I was just over anxious and knew nothing about children and must not be doing the behaviour stuff right. This site is healing me so perhaps I can once again advocate for my son.

    Huge thank you to everyone who posts on here

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