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  • Jo2001
    Posts: 19
    Hello. I'm still coming to terms with a probable PDA diagnosis for my 15yr old. Meanwhile I'm wondering what your experience is of lying? My son makes me doubt my sanity with his lying sometimes. I think he truly believes what he's saying and doesn't intend to drive me nuts but it does. He seems able to convince himself of an alternate reality especially if there are consequences to his actions. Is this common? I find it really unsettling and upsetting as it's one of the least 'normal' things he does. At least with some of his other behaviours he appears to have some self awareness. I'm concerned it could get him in to real trouble when he's older, he's had a couple of near misses where he's assaulted other boys at school and no action was taken beyond detention. It's scary to me that he can't seem to learn from his mistakes...
  • Em83Em83
    Posts: 68
    Hi Jo2001 my son does similar. He sometimes knows he is lying like any child he may try it on a bit. However there are
    times when it seems he just believes what he is saying ! Also he will sometimes seem as though he cannot face that he has done sonething and feels guilty so he refuses to believe it or accept it if that makes sense. My son struggles with applying skills or knowledge from one situation to another.. which is very much he does not learn from mistakes as to him every situation is new and different and he cannot apply the skills or knowledge he has. We just keep working on it with him and its very slow progress especially as he struggles with impulse control and severe anxiety led behaviours. I'm sorry I cannot offer more advice but you are not alone and I can understand your fustration. My son is only 8 so we have a lot of learning to do with him and for him.
  • Jo2001
    Posts: 19
    Thank you, hope things get better for you too!
  • Jo2001
    Posts: 19
    Em83 I should also say that some of our strategies such as keeping a calm environment do seem to have helped and he does seem to have more self awareness which I don't think would have happened without some interventions from us (we didn't suspect PDA at the time just severe anxiety).. so I just wanted to say that I think things do stick, it just takes a very long time! We completely changed how we deal with him from when he was about 10 when we realised the 'conventional' parenting style we had just wasn't working. So it's great that you're aware of PDA and how different strategies can help x
  • Em83Em83
    Posts: 68
    Thank you Jo2001. That is really good to know! I hope you have had a good day.
  • Eliza
    Posts: 10
    Hello! I am new here too and we have a new diagnosis of ASD and our doc in the US agreed with PDa although it’s not recognized here. The lying - my least favorite symptom for my son. I wish I could say that it has gotten better for us but at 21 he is an expert. I too question my own sanity and my own memory at times because he is so insistent that he is right. I am sure he could pass a lie detector. I remember when he was just a boy he told me “ a lie is not a lie if you grisly believe that what you are saying is the truth”. He has developed methods of twisting any bit of fact or evidence in order to prove himself right. It is so sad and frustrating. It is next to impossible to have an honest discussion with my guy. I am hoping someone has some suggestions or insight!

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