What PDA can look like in education settings

Some PDAers respond to anxiety by retreating – either emotionally, physically or both. This might look like sitting silently, not joining group work, avoiding eye contact or giving minimal answers. Others may physically remove themselves from the situation by leaving a learning space or refusing to enter it in the first place. Sometimes this withdrawal is misread as disengagement, but it’s often a sign that the student is overwhelmed and trying to stay regulated.

A student may appear calm, compliant or cheerful during the school day, but unravel once they get home. This is sometimes referred to as masking – suppressing needs, behaviours or distress to avoid detection or to meet expectations. Masking is mentally and emotionally exhausting, and over time can lead to burnout, shutdowns or increased school avoidance.

While some masking is deliberate, much of it happens unconsciously. Staff may not realise how hard a student is working just to appear “fine”, which can lead to misunderstandings between home and school.

Many PDAers appear to shift quickly between different emotional states – from relaxed to distressed, or engaged to withdrawn – often without warning. A student might start a task enthusiastically, then suddenly refuse to continue, or respond with anger or humour when feeling anxious. This isn’t manipulation; it’s often a response to rapid changes in internal stress levels or a loss of perceived control.

Some students may use fantasy, storytelling or role play as coping strategies, especially when they feel uncertain or unsafe. These strategies can be adaptive, but they may also be dismissed as distractions if misunderstood.

Many PDAers want friendships, but struggle with the unpredictability of social interaction. They may try to take control of social situations or withdraw entirely. Communication styles might feel unusual – especially if students rely on scripting, mirroring or rehearsed phrases. Power dynamics in relationships, including those with adults, are often complex, and can affect how safe a student feels to express themselves. Some students may resist classroom hierarchy’s or want to reverse roles with you.

These experiences aren’t always easy to spot. Many PDA learners are working incredibly hard to cope, and the effort this takes often goes unseen. By looking beneath the surface and listening to what students are showing us – not just what they say – we can respond in ways that feel safer and more supportive.

Not all students respond well to praise, especially if it feels public, overwhelming or creates an expectation to perform again. Some may undo or destroy their work after being praised, or downplay their achievements. This can be confusing for staff, but it’s often linked to a fear of losing autonomy, a sense of being judged, or discomfort with attention.

Helping students feel in control of how their work is recognised – or whether it’s recognised at all – can reduce this pressure. For example reviewing whether it’s necessary to be included in current reward systems for certificates, points, prizes and trips, or could they be adapted to benefit the individual learner?