PDA Approaches
This content is best read through in the order above, and navigated in order using arrows at the bottom of pages – but if you want to jump to a particular section you can do so using the buttons above. You can also access a short downloadable resource here which summarises some helpful approaches for parents and carers of PDAers.
What really helps – and why we need to rethink current approaches
For autistic people with a PDA profile, traditional support approaches can often cause more harm than good. Things like firm routines and behaviour-based rewards might be well-intentioned but can increase anxiety and reduce trust.
Whoever you are, the right mindset is an important first step in helping to manage the anxiety and resistance that demands can cause. Focusing on understanding, compassion and co-regulation, rather than control or compliance is important.
It’s about more than tactics; it’s a philosophy that will help you choose the right approach at the right time. Understanding that demands cause stress, which can affect every area of a PDAer’s life, is an important starting point. As is, knowing that this anxiety can prevent PDAers from doing things that keep them safe and happy – and that this is not a choice.
Why changing mindsets can feel difficult
Changing how we think about our relationships with PDAers can be difficult. Many of us grew up experiencing traditional rules, control, rewards, and punishments. So, approaches that focus on understanding, kindness, and teamwork aren’t always instinctive. These approaches can seem too easy or not strict enough at first. However, understanding PDA and taking a human rights-based approach can make things better for everyone.
Moving away from these traditional methods can be difficult because it requires us to question deeply held beliefs and societal norms. But traditional approaches can create heightened anxiety and resistance, especially in PDAers. This isn’t wilful defiance-it’s an anxiety-driven reaction. In fact, many people are beginning to describe PDA as a nervous system disability in an attempt to make this clear.
Responding to anxiety effectively, needs deeper understanding and a different mindset. This page will help you build the foundations of this.
A human rights perspective
Using a human rights approach means focusing less on making people obey rules and more on empathy, respect, and freedom to make choices. Everyone deserves to feel safe and able to make decisions about their own lives.
The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child says it’s important to listen to children and let them make choices when possible. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) protects dignity, freedom, and choice for everyone, including adults.
Article 1 of the UDHR says: “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They have reason and conscience and should treat each other kindly.”
From this viewpoint, reducing demands and using gentle strategies isn’t weak or poor parenting. Instead, it respects the rights of PDAers and helps protect their mental and emotional health. It is a thoughtful, rights-focused approach that understands and values the feelings and needs of PDA individuals.