Helping your PDAer return to school

Attending a school environment, whether mainstream or a specialist provision, can be difficult for PDA children due to the number of demands which form part of daily life. Transitioning back to this after one, two, or six weeks away can be tricky. Offering patience, support and understanding can help lessen some of the anxiety for a PDAer and help them to feel more prepared for their return.

The anxiety felt by both PDA children and their parent/carers in the days running up to their return to school may increase significantly. It’s helpful to be aware of this and bear it in mind when they, and parent/carer responses, may become heightened. Here are some ideas which could help to ease the transition back to school:

• Lowering other demands as much as is possible leading up to the return, and for the first couple of weeks back at school, only requesting actions which are high priority or truly non-negotiable gives them more capacity to cope with how they are feeling.
• Limiting activities, even though it’s tempting to want to do things while the kids are off school, can provide a much-needed recovery period for a PDAer. Particularly as the return to school approaches, having time to rest and recharge will help a PDA child gather as many “spoons” as possible for the term ahead. Once back at school, try to limit after school clubs and weekend activities to begin with so they can ease in more gently.
• Having safe foods ready to provide them with some certainty in their packed lunches (if that’s what they like to take), and perhaps making the same packed lunch at home for a few days so they can become familiar with it. Having their favourite snacks and meals on hand for breakfast, after school snacks and dinners gives them re-assurance that they can stock up on food outside of school if they’re not comfortable eating during the school day.
• Getting used to uniform by washing and wearing new (and old) uniform items can help PDAers to get used to how they might feel and smell. Doing this before they return to school will give you all a chance to sort out any sensory challenges that might come up.
• Gentle conversations about what going back to school might look like for them, focusing on what they feel positive about. If using social stories, being mindful that these can be triggering for PDAers as they contain demands and ensuring that any such supports are tailored to a PDA approach.

Relationships between parent/carer, child and school can very much vary from one institution to another, but here are some steps which could be taken to try and build helpful relationships:

• Checking in at the start of term if the school haven’t initiated contact already. Proactively emailing the relevant staff members to introduce yourself and your child and sharing or re-sharing any adjustments they need can be useful. Even if the same team are involved it’s helpful to let them know if there have been any changes over the holiday period or how your child is feeling about their return to school.
• Requesting reasonable adjustments by visiting this page on our website Requesting reasonable adjustments in school or college – PDA Society and downloading the word template as a starting place to suggest ways in which the school and staff can help meet your child’s needs.
• Building relationships with learning support workers, teaching assistants or teachers by making contact with them at drop off or pick up times if possible. Letting them know that you’re happy to answer any questions they may have about your child’s needs or PDA in general can open the lines of communication.
• Confirming regular meetings are scheduled in everyone’s calendars. By having the dates arranged in advance it will help ensure that important documents, such as the SEN plan or IEP are up to date, relevant and effective.
• Keeping them updated if there are any changes or events outside of school which may affect your child. For example, having tried on uniform before going back you can inform school if there are sensory issues and discuss strategies to help meet your child’s needs in this area before they arrive on site.

Even when you’ve prepared as best you can, the transition back to school can still be bumpy and approaches may need changing on a frequent basis. A few suggestions include:

• Listening and being patient with your child if they are struggling to leave the house or get into school. It’s important they feel safe, heard and respected by those they trust.
• Making alternative arrangements if they are struggling with transitioning in and out of school. For example, letting school know and arranging for them to enter/exit the classroom either before or after their peers to avoid crowds/overwhelm, or perhaps using a different entrance altogether.
• Flexible timings for them can be worth considering to help a PDA child if they are finding the full school day or busier periods too challenging. Older children may find some lessons more accessible than others, and engaging with subjects of interest can create a more positive experience, so focusing on these is a good way in.
• Flexible timings for you if possible! Especially in the first few weeks back to school, asking to work from home (if you have a job which accommodates) or work reduced/flexible hours so you can be available to support your child if needed during the day. If you have other children, asking friends of family if they mind helping out at short notice in case you are called.
• Taking time to reset if the demands of school are causing anxiety levels which prevent your child or young person from attending school or college.
• Don’t forget yourself! Taking time to connect with those who can support you through this transition such as trusted family or friends, other parents who understand your situation, or you can join one of our PDA Society support groups (links at bottom of the page).

Remember, if you or the young PDAer in your life is finding returning to school difficult you are not alone. Our support service are here to listen and help – you can find more information and how to contact the service here.

If you’re looking for ideas that actually help, our parent carer training could be for you. It’s built by people with lived experience, and is full of practical tips. Families tell us that after our training they better understand what is going on for their child, why they are struggling and what they can do to help.