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Helping your PDA child with dressing

Getting dressed can often be a big challenge for PDAers. Clothes can feel uncomfortable, choices can feel overwhelming, and the pressure to get ready can create stress.  Here are some ideas to help make getting dressed easier for you and your PDA child.

Reducing the pressure

  • Changing the focus: rather than having a set routine, like getting dressed then having breakfast, try changing things around. By making enough time to wake up slowly, eat, and do something they enjoy first it can shift the focus away from getting dressed.
  • Making it optional at first: often PDA children find it easier to dress when there’s less pressure. Putting clothes nearby and saying something like, “for if you’d like to go outside later,” might help.
  • Using different language: instead of saying “put your clothes on now,” you could try “I’ll leave your clothes here for when you need them.”
  • Helping them: if your PDA child is willing to accept your help to get dressed then this can greatly lower the demand. It also gives them company and support while they’re doing it.

Offering choice and control

  • Letting them decide: some PDAers prefer to choose their own clothes, while others find decisions overwhelming. If choice is stressful, looking at each item with them and letting them decide might help.
  • Role reversal: some PDA children respond well to playful approaches like “I wonder if I should wear your clothes today!” or pretending you need their help to decide what you should wear.
  • Thinking outside the box: would they like to wear an item of your clothing for a change? Or just something that can cover them up like a dressing gown or a sensory sock. Sometimes the novelty of a completely different approach can be just what’s needed.

Making dressing more comfortable

  • Sensory-friendly clothing: tags, seams, and loose or tight fits can be unbearable for some PDAers. Choosing soft, loose, well-fitting or seamless clothing can help depending on what feels most comfortable.
  • Familiar favourites: many PDAers prefer wearing the same comfortable clothes over and over. If this helps them feel secure, having extra items of their favourite clothes so they can wear the ‘same’ outfit everyday can reduce anxiety.
  • Dressing in stages: PDA children may find it easier to put on one item at a time with breaks in between. Taking it at their pace could help take the pressure off.

Using distraction and playfulness

  • Using their interests: if your child loves superheroes, wearing a ‘cape’ (a cardigan or scarf) might make dressing more fun.
  • Dress-up play: making a spontaneous game of dressing might help – if it’s cold and you’re going out you could try asking,
    “what do you think an arctic explorer might wear today?” as part of layering up.
  • Finding distractions: having the TV, an audiobook or music on at the same time as getting dressed can help distract from the demand of it.

Easing expectations

  • Pyjamas all day? That’s okay sometimes! If dressing feels impossible one day, it’s okay to choose comfort over stress. You could even model this by having a whole family pyjama day.
  • Compromising when needed: if a full outfit isn’t happening, maybe just socks and a hoodie are enough for now. What’s the bare minimum that works for both you and them?
  • Indirectly praising the effort, not the result: instead of saying “Well done for getting dressed,” you might try “Oh, cool, you’re dressed,” which acknowledges the achievement without making it an expectation that it needs to be done again.
  • Allowing times of undress: if wearing clothes is overwhelming for your PDA child you could try letting them take their clothes off at home when it’s appropriate.

Every child is different, so experimenting with various approaches can help you find what works best. The key is reducing anxiety, offering flexibility, and allowing your child to feel in control. When dressing becomes less of a demand, it often becomes easier over time.

“I help my daughter choose and put her clothes on whenever she needs me to without question. By removing the expectation to do it herself it becomes more manageable”
Nadia*

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