Hobbies and gaming with PDA

Sometimes people with PDA find that things they enjoy – like hobbies and gaming – start to feel like demands, which can make them feel anxious. This page has some information about hobbies and gaming and some tips for adult PDAer’s and parents of PDA children that might help them keep enjoying their hobbies.

Sometimes, the more a PDAer loves an activity, the more pressure they may feel to do it “right” or regularly, which can spark avoidance.

Things like setting up equipment, following rules, or thinking “I should do this” can raise anxiety and make you want to avoid the activity. Other common struggles include getting started and perfectionism.

Tips for PDA adults

• Taking the pressure off: you could try reminding yourself that hobbies are for fun and they don’t have to be perfect or impress anyone else. If people asking about your hobbies makes you feel stressed, you don’t have to tell anyone about them.
• Making it easy to start: setting things up ahead of time can make it easier to begin. For example, leaving your art supplies out or keeping your game ready to play.
• Staying flexible: if planning your hobby makes it feel like work, you could try doing it when you’re in the mood instead of on a schedule.
• Switching: if you have lots of interests, you could try switching between them to keep things fun. If one hobby is starting to feel like a demand, you could avoid it by doing a different hobby instead.
• Taking breaks: if you feel like you might burn out it’s okay to stop and come back later.

Some PDA children love hobbies and games because they help them feel safe and in control. But even fun things can feel stressful if they start to seem like a rule or a demand.

A PDA child might get excited about a new game or class but then feel so anxious that they don’t want to do it at the last minute. They might also find it hard to lose or make mistakes while playing.

Tips for parents:

• Offering choice: let your child decide how they want to play or do their hobby. Give them the tools and space, but don’t make them follow a schedule. Instead of focusing on winning or finishing something, just praise how much they enjoy it or leave them to it.
• Being supportive: wait for your child to ask for help instead of jumping in. If losing is upsetting, try games where you work together instead of against each other. If they get frustrated, stay calm and kind. Suggesting a break or a different activity might help.
• No pressure: hobbies and games should be fun, not something anyone has to do. If there’s no pressure to take part, it is more enjoyable.

People who do our training tell us that it makes a huge difference that our trainers have lived experience of PDA. They also say that talking and sharing experiences in our live training sessions help them feel less alone. Wether you are looking for live opportunities to connect with people who get it or a recording you can watch in your own time, we hope our training will be helpful to you.