PDA and approaches to eating

Eating can be challenging for PDAers due to anxiety, sensory sensitivities, and a strong need for independence. Offering support that is flexible, and low demand can make a big difference. This page looks at why eating can be difficult and offers ideas on ways to help make it easier.

• Demand anxiety: being expected to eat, follow routines around eating, or try new foods can feel overwhelming.
• Sensory sensitivities: taste, texture, smell, or the sound of eating can be distressing. Many fresh foods vary in taste and texture from one to the next, so they can feel unpredictable and unsafe.
• Control and independence: feeling forced to eat certain things or not being able to eat only preferred food can trigger avoidance behaviours. Sometimes even the feeling of being hungry can become a demand that increases anxiety.
• Differences in bodily awareness: some PDAers may struggle to recognise being hungry or full up and therefore may over or under eat. This can lead to health problems where even more demand is placed on eating in a certain way.

• Careful use of language: choosing the right words around food can be helpful. For example, rather than saying “you need to eat,” you could try, “there’s food here if you fancy it.”
• Offering choice and control: let people choose what, where, and how they eat. It’s okay if something that was eaten yesterday gets refused today. You could try offering something else in a relaxed way instead. Eating sitting on the floor or sofa rather than at the table can feel much less demanding. Does cutlery really have to be used?
• Making food accessible: keeping easy, preferred options available for when people feel able to eat can be helpful. Having a cupboard with a few different healthy snacks reduces the anxiety around being expected to eat at a set time.
• Respecting sensory needs: offering familiar textures and flavours in a safe, predictable way can make eating an easier experience for a PDAer. Liking roast potatoes doesn’t necessarily mean liking them mashed. Eating the same thing on repeat is better than eating nothing. Try using separate little bowls to serve different foods so they can be eaten in a way of each person’s choosing.
• Taking the stress away from eating: it doesn’t really matter how or where the eating gets done. Eating in a relaxed setting, even while watching TV or playing, can reduce anxiety.
• Trying playful approaches: picnic-style meals, themed plates, or having fun cooking together without pressure can make food feel less demanding.

• Rigid rules: having strict mealtimes or being told to “always finish your plate” create a high demand environment and can increase anxiety.
• Bribery or rewards: these can make eating feel like an expectation rather than a personal choice. This approach might work once or twice but quickly becomes counterproductive.
• Over-focus on food: too much attention on eating can make it feel even more stressful. Distraction can sometimes help.

If you’re worried that eating challenges are affecting someone’s health or well-being, you could think about speaking to a GP or dietitian. ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) and other medical conditions may need specialist support.

Seeing a loved one struggle with eating difficulties in this way can be very emotional for you and for them. The PDA Society is here to offer help and support to everyone who needs it, through our support service, consultancy & training. If you need to seek help, we can  help you work out how to do that effectively.