What if it's not PDA?

Demand avoidance itself is a loose term and can describe a range of experiences relating to neurodivergence, mental health and trauma. These are likely to have different causes and may benefit from different support strategies. PDAers will also have reasons for avoiding demands that are nothing to do with PDA, and many of these experiences can overlap and happen at the same time.

It’s helpful to be open and thoughtful about the underlying reasons for demand avoidance, and the approaches which might help. This page includes some of the more common experiences which are also associated with demand avoidance. Low arousal or PDA approaches may still be helpful, but it’s a good idea to seek out specialist guidance relevant to your situation.

People who have experienced trauma may find demands triggering if they echo past situations where they felt powerless or unsafe. This might cause a fight, flight, freeze or fawn response, which might look like dissociation, anger or shutdowns. Neurodivergent people may also be more likely to experience trauma due to being in situations where they aren’t understood or their needs aren’t met. Trauma-informed approaches include building trust and safety, removing perceived threats, and focusing on co-regulation.

If someone has learning differences or disabilities, or different styles of communication, then they might process information in an unexpected way. If someone doesn’t understand a request, they might freeze or walk away, and this could be misinterpreted as rudeness. People with executive functioning differences (including in ADHD) may also find it hard to get started on a task because the planning and sequencing it requires feels overwhelming. Speech and language therapists or educational psychologists can help find different approaches such as using visual supports.

Sensory differences can make some situations challenging, such as entering a bright or noisy room or being out in the sun. Adapting the sensory environment can help reduce overwhelm, and where this isn’t possible, adjustments such as soundproof headphones can make a big difference. Occupational therapists can help with sensory integration and help identify triggers and suggest accommodations.

People experiencing burnout or mental health difficulties might avoid demands simply because they are too depleted to cope.  Burnout is caused by being under stress for a long time without a chance to recover. Autistic people often feel under pressure to mask their difficulties which can be exhausting and contribute to burnout, and this can impact someone’s ability to cope with things that used to manageable. How someone approaches recovery from burnout can vary, but rest, self-directed routines, and removing non-essential demands may be helpful.

Mental health difficulties can make people want to avoid certain situations or cause them to withdraw completely. For example, socially anxious people might avoid everyday interactions that carry hidden social expectations, or someone might avoid public transport after having a panic attack. Everyone is different, so it can take some trial and error to find the right approach to recovery and mental health management.