Helping your PDA child to exercise

• Demand avoidance: PDA children can react strongly to feeling controlled. Even if an activity is usually fun, when it’s presented as a demand it triggers anxiety and refusal.
• Need for autonomy: they may happily run around and play when it’s their choice, but refuse to join in if it’s someone else’s idea. PDA children need to do things on their own terms. They can struggle with feeling unequal, which means they may find it difficult when they lose.
• Sensory sensitivities: many PDAers have sensory differences. Busy, noisy spaces and the physical feelings of doing exercise can affect a PDA child’s senses. If they have felt uncomfortable doing something before, they may try to avoid the same situation next time.
• Co-existing conditions: some PDA children may have other conditions which make exercising difficult for them as well. They may find some types of movement painful because of hypermobility.  Development co-ordination disorder (DCD) could make some activities hard to follow.

• Giving a choice: involving them in deciding what they do, when they do it and where, so they feel in control. Try suggesting some ideas for them to choose between if they can’t think of something themselves. For example: “Would you like to play in the garden or jump on the trampoline?” Or: “Would you like to go to the park now or after lunch?” If a PDA child has a choice, they could feel more able to join in with activities.
• Keeping it playful: try making movement fun and offering to join in with them in any way you can. You could suggest creative activities such as moving like an animal or making up your own dance moves. Following your child’s lead and letting them change or stop the game whenever they want helps them to feel in control.
• Connecting to interests: if they have a special interest, you could include this in an activity. For example, walking in the woods to collect sticks or find insects.
• Create a comfortable setting: choosing familiar, quiet places for active play instead of busy, loud ones could help. Clearing a safe space at home for them may mean they feel freer to move around as they want.
• Give them a reason: PDAers can feel more able to do something if they know why it is useful. Older PDA children might feel keener to exercise as they begin to understand the benefits it can have to their health.

• Independent play:  many PDA children prefer doing activities on their own, so they are not affected by other people. Things like trampolining, swinging, dancing or splashing in water are all ways to move freely with no rules. Many of these can be done without leaving home which is less pressure for everyone.
• Fun with others: some PDAers enjoy being active with others if it’s very low demand. This could be a no-rules game with family, a silly dance party at home, or even a class with an understanding leader. Make sure whoever is in charge knows about PDA and allows your child to be themselves. Asking to stay nearby so your PDA child feels safer is always an option.
• Everyday movement: helping your child to see how much they already move can be helpful. Knowing that everyday play and activities gives you exercise shows them that it doesn’t need to be a big deal. Try avoiding direct praise or creating an expectation if this makes your PDA child feel uncomfortable.

Being patient and embracing every bit of movement can show your PDA child that even a few minutes of play or being active in any way is a good thing. Helping your PDA child to discover a way to exercise on their own terms could mean they enjoy it more.

If you want to understand your child better or are looking for practical ideas that actually help, our parent carer training could be for you. It’s built by people with lived experience, who really understand PDA. Families tell us that after our training they better understand what is going on for their child, why they are struggling and what they can do to help.