Coping with change, heightened emotions and demands

With the news of Queen Elizabeth II’s death, there are many changes, cancellations, demands and, for some people, heightened emotions. We thought it might be helpful to compile the following resources and tips to help those in the PDA community who may be affected.

We’ll add to this page any additional information, ideas and resources that may be helpful over the course of the next couple of weeks – and please do let us know if you have other tips or links to share …

Coping with heightened emotions and demands

If you or your child are affected by your own heightened emotions at this time, or the emotions of others, here are some tips that might be helpful.

Many PDA people may be very triggered by all the news and media coverage of this event and may be feeling the demand and pressure to feel a certain way. This can cause a lot of stress and other heightened emotions but knowing that it’s OK not to share in the common grief might help.

If you are feeling sad or a sense of grief, that’s OK too and others will be feeling the same way. In this article, Grief Experts Explain Why people might be Sad About Queen Elizabeth’s Death.

Or you may feel that it doesn’t affect you, as you didn’t know the Queen personally, which is also OK.

Different people react in different ways to things – your emotions are valid, whatever they may be.

It may help to have an outlet for emotions such as speaking to others who understand and can provide mutual support, doing things you usually find calming or using the online Book of Condolence if you wish to leave a message. More info is also available on the Royal Family website about Mourning and Condolence arrangements at the Royal Residences.

Try to strike a helpful balance of the amount of news and media coverage you consume so you’re informed or connected to social communities but not overwhelmed – it might be helpful to minimise social media scrolling or to ‘mute’ certain accounts if all the posts/images about the Queen become overwhelming or provoke an emotional response, for example.

Sudden emotional changes can occur more frequently when anxiety is high. Our Distressed behaviours resource offers insight for supporting someone in distress.

Childhood bereavement charity, Winston’s Wish, offers information about How to talk to children about the death of the Queen on their website. The info is also summarised in this Manchester Evening News article for anyone unable to access the Winston’s Wish website.

Coping with changes

Change can be difficult to adjust to. Here are some tips that might be helpful.

It can be helpful to prepare for what changes to expect over the next few weeks and months, such as shop closures on the day of the Queen’s funeral and changes to cash and coins and other everyday items which reference the Queen. These articles may be helpful starting points:

For immediate changes, such as events being cancelled or changes to TV schedules and the way some familiar online brands/logos may look, it can be helpful to focus on the things you can control – e.g. distracting yourself with other familiar/favourite things that are accessible at this time – and not on things that aren’t available/you can’t control. It’s also important to keep in mind that these immediate changes are only temporary, and a sense of ‘normality’ will return.

Understanding the reason why things are changing and looking forward to the novelty of the changes (e.g. new coinage) can also help.